EP-35–சின்ன சின்ன புரிதல் using Emotional Bank Account 2.0–Retrospective...

எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.

Theme for the week (from
today till next Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory
(Courtesy: Stephen Covey).

We have seen some hero moments so far. For a change, I want
to talk about my zero moments today which are related to EBA.

It was August 2002, a month after our marriage. It was a Sunday evening at 5.45pm, we entered the mall in US, and it was the first shopping mall experience for Sudha. She was excited with her list of things to buy and I was proudly leading from the front as I was fulfilling her dream shopping experience in USA (சிங்க நடை போட்டு). Immediately all the shops were getting closed in a row similar to a villain entering in a busy street or village in the Tamil movies.

I immediately rushed to a security guy and realized that the
mall closes at 6 pm on every Sunday. That moment, when I uttered the news to
Sudha, all her first shopping experience and expectation went for a toss. She
was deeply disappointed. I saw a Chandramukhi Jothika in her saying “Lakka
Lakka Lakka….”

I could feel the tension between us. We were talking in mono
syllable like a Mani Ratham movie “Yes”, No I hate you etc. Remembered we were
just married a month ago.

We came home. My convincing strategy of taking her to the
mall next day ended in vain. I returned from the mall as if Vadivel got betting
from everyone in movies.

Did I make a deposit or withdrawal in her emotional bank account? It was a pure withdrawal. How many of you have done similar withdrawals with your spouse. Please raise your hands. Counting all your hands together multiplied by 18 times is equal to mine, because we have been married for 18 years.

Even today, she says all my sothappal can be put as 100 episodes. On a lighter note, that is the Part II after 100 days.

Let us revisit yesterday’s episode.

What is emotional bank account?

The Emotional Bank Account is the production capability side
of human relationships, human interaction.

An emotional bank account is
an account of trust instead of money. It's an account based
on how safe you feel with another person.

Deposits	Withdrawals
Show kindness, courtesy, respect.	Show unkindness, discourtesy, disrespect.
Make & Keep promises.	Don’t make promises, or Make and Break promises. சொல்வதை செய்வோம் செய்வதை சொல்வோம்
Clear expectations / unambiguous	Unclear expectations / Ambiguous. Frustration is product of our expectations.
Loyalty to the absent. ·         If you want to retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent	Disloyalty and duplicity, deceitfulness, badmouth
Apologize. ·         Apologize, forget and forgive, let go of resentment.	Pride, Be Proud and arrogant.
Seek first to understand	Assume you understand
Set clear expectations.	Create unclear expectations.
Apologize.	Be Proud and arrogant.
Give Feedback (“I” messages)	Give no feedback or evaluate character (“You” messages).
Forgive.	Hold grudges.

Covey
identifies six ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):

https://integratedleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Your_Emotnal_Bank_Acct.pdf

Courtesy: Your
Emotional Bank Account By M.J. Clark, M.A., APR

1) Understanding the Individual.

·        
This means listening intently to what the other
person is saying and

·        
Empathizing with how they may feel.

·        
Feeling is key in any relationship which we
discussed in EP-6 – Feelings(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhl8AH3l-Tc&t=45s)

·        
It’s important to care for others and act with
kindness toward them.

·        
To take it little further scientifically, we can
get the help of MBTI test to understand our dear and near ones which discussed
in EP-3 – Naan Yaar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ceUDENFHJ0&t=251s)

2) Keeping Commitments. How do you feel when someone arrives
right on time when you have a meeting? How about when people simply do what
they say they will do? You build up an emotional reserve by keeping your
commitments.

3) Clarifying Expectations. We are not mind readers, and yet
we consistently expect others to know what we expect of them. Communicating our
expectations can help create a higher level of trust. When we ask for what we
want, and we get it, we can then trust a little more.

In the above incident, I did not meet her expectations
properly. I delayed the whole day till the end. I slept in the afternoon
instead of taking her to the mall. I did not aware of the mall hours. As it was
her first shopping experience, I should have planned or asked someone about
mall hours.

Most of the men like me give too much of expectations and
did the mistakes in the end without proper planning. Even if they make
mistakes, we do not apologise which we will discuss in detail tomorrow.

My 2 cents to my women counterpart is, men are not mind
readers, if you have any expectations, please discuss with them so that it sets
the right expectations which increases trust. To have more deposits in personal
relationship lies in understanding the small things (சின்ன சின்ன
புரிதல் தாங்க உறவின் மஹிமை).

Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private
Victory to Public Victory –
Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 02^nd Nov, End date 8^th Nov – Saturday
to Friday)

Today’s video:-

13 The 7 Habits Foundational Principles Part M - Deposits &
Withdrawals

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrUTlHW1_lw

Yesterday’s video:-

12 The 7 Habits Foundational Principles Part L - Emotional Bank Account

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSCB2SfsIqQ

EP-34 – Emotional Bank Account– Private Victory to Public Victory – Zer...

Complete transcripts of the speech are given in YouTube Description.



எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.



Theme for the week (from today till next Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).



Oru Osho Kathai, One person on the street was searching something for 15-20 mins. He could not find what he lost. By passer went and enquired to him what did he lose? Then he asked, “Where did you lose? Loser says, it lost in a place which was two streets away. By passer was surprised, He questioned, If you lose you things in a different place, why are you searching here. You should have gone to the place where you lost it. Loser says, “I have light here”. That is why, I am searching here.



This looks very stupid.



If you think deeper, we are all like this loser who lose it in one place and searching it in a different place.



I have been a life skill coach for more than 10 years. I have come across wide horizon of friends, colleagues, dear and nears.



In my opinions, we are slowly losing our roots in relationships. We are searching short term happiness elsewhere similar to the Osho story.



For example, some men are seeking it through consuming spirit on Ilayaraja night’s on Friday and some women are seeking it in retail therapy. We are started spending our time in Q3 and not on Q2 which is based on relationships.



What is the solution? Now I want to take up Stephen covey’s Emotional Bank Account. What is emotional bank account?



What is emotional bank account?



It is similar to what Kamal Hassan does in Vasool Raja MBBS movie.



The Emotional Bank Account is the production capability side of human relationships, human interaction.



An emotional bank account is an account of trust instead of money. It's an account based on how safe you feel with another person.

Deposits                                             Withdrawals

Seek first to understand                     Assume you understand

Show kindness, courtesy, respect.     Show unkindness, discourtesy, disrespect.

Keep promises.                                  Break promises.

Be loyal to absent.                             Be disloyal, badmouth

Set clear expectations.                       Create unclear expectations.

Apologize.                                         Be Proud and arrogant.

Give Feedback (“I” messages)          Give no feedback or evaluate character (“You” messages).

Forgive.                                                  Hold grudges.



By practising EBA in our daily activities, we all becomes Crorepathi.



Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private Victory to Public Victory – Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 02nd Nov, End date 8th Nov – Saturday to Friday)



12 The 7 Habits Foundational Principles Part L - Emotional Bank Account

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSCB2SfsIqQ

EP-33 – Convert your Signature to an Autograph–Private Victory to Public...

எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.

Theme for the week (from
today till next Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy:
Stephen Covey).

We all are busy
being busy. We live a life in a fast paced environment. 24 hours is not enough for
us. Even if we have 48 hours per day, we won’t be in a position to complete all
our todos. Our life is driven by todos list. We have Todos for Personal, ToDos
for professional and todos for everything. We are running our life like a
headless chicken. It is similar to Avvai Shanmugi’s Song -

வேல வேல வேல

வேல மேல மேல வேல

வேல ஆம்பளைக்கும் வேல

பொம்பளைக்கும் வேல

பொம்பளையா போன

ஆம்பளைக்கும் வேல

We know the problem
statement. What can we do now? Let us strategize by bringing two of our best
episodes together.

We have spent
enough time in Personal mission statement for the past two days (EP-31, EP-32).
By now we would have created our Personal Mission Statement to decide on our daily
choices.

On my EP-2, I
discussed on Holy Hour. It is like charging our phone or fuelling our vehicles,
we need to charge ourselves on a daily basis. Spending one holy hour for
yourself.

Last week, we
discussed on Quadrant 2 in EP-26 – Roots -Put First Things First (Habit 3 Week).

As a part of
retrospective week, like musicians we are going to do Fusion(Merge) today by bringing
back Holy Hour on Q2, ie., Living in Life in Quadrant 2.

Today let us
strategies on spending Holy Hour on Quadrant 2.

Quadrant 1 and 3
are all related to urgent things. Q1 is Urgent and Important activities and Q3
is on Urgent and not important. It is all externally focussed.. We tend to
spend more time on Q1 and Q3. Q3 is determined based on other people, their culture,
or their circumstances (Externally focused).

I could easily
relate to my older lifestyle of working till 11pm in the night. I got drained
and exhausted and to feel relax myself I used to spend 2-3 hours daily on recreational
activities which was in Q4. I was not having any balance in my life. In spite
of slogging 12-14 hours per day, I was exhausted, drained and devastated.

Now after reading
Stephen Covey’s time management matrix, Covey suggests to spend 65-80% time on
Q2, 20-25% on Q1 and max. of 15% on Q3 and 0% on Q4. Covey says Q4 as time
wasters. What are Q2 activities?

What are the things
that you can do in Q2.

Not urgent (In General, Big rocks that is pushed aside) Based on Mission, Purpose and value system.

Quadrant 2 ·         Prevention ·         Preparation ·         Value clarification ·         Planning ·         Relationship building ·         True re-creation ·         Empowerment ·         Sharpening the saw ·         Self-development ·         Mission statements ·         Leadership ·         All 7 Habits are in Q2

65-80% of your time goes here

Cheat sheets – Living Life in Q2:-

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UD0vf5eb3-ydPD7RfyurQnbrNxP5Ii8Z/view?usp=sharing

Let us take the help of neuroscience for a moment. Are we doing our work
based on compulsion or passion?(இஷ்டப்பட்டு பண்ணுறோமா கஷ்டப்பட்டு பண்ணுறோமா). There lies the nuts and crux of
activities. When we do things in compulsion (கஷ்டப்பட்டு)
in Q1 and Q3, Cortisol hormone gets released which is a stress hormone which
drains our energy. Whereas if we do things with full passion (இஷ்டப்பட்டு), Endorphin hormone gets released which
energies us. We do not need separate time to energise ourselves in Q4.

It all boils down
to our priorities. We only have 24 hours in our life.

Covey suggests
spending 80% of your time on Q2. Out of 24 hours, 1/3^rd, approx. 8
hours goes to 

work, 1/3 goes, approx. 8 hours to personal front and 1/3 goes
for sleeping.

If you are at 8
hours of work, spend around 6 hours on Q2.

Once a daily basis,
we get around 4 to 6 hours for personal space leaving two hours for travel and
getting ready to work.

Either in office /
home let try to accommodate 1 holy hour for ourselves and live life in Q2. Because
of the passion with which we do things, we have more Endorphin moments on a
daily basis. As we are getting continuously energised by Endorphin, we do not
have to go to Q4 to relax ourselves. We do not need any extra necessity for Q4
relaxation activities.

As we discussed in
EP-26, take one personal and professional activity as suggested by covey..

Covey wants you to answer these two questions

a.      
Think
of one activity that you absolutely know that if you did it superbly well and
consistently would produce marvellous results in your personal life

b.     
Then do
the same thing for your professional / work life

I had a director
Ruchir Rodriguez. Every time I went to him and gave a status report of my tasks,
He asked, “Can you put your signature on it”? I come back to my completed work immediately
and put additional 4 hours of work to make my work as a master piece and then
gave the deliverable to him.

In a similar way,
can you take 2 deliverables on a daily basis and put your signature on it by
delivering your master class work?

Whatever maybe the
task, if we do it with complete passion, the output will be master class work.
Those are the Endorphin moments for us.

My friend
approached me and asking her difficulty of implementing holy hour. Holy hour
activities are on doing things which we like rather than the ones that we have
to do by force. As we do things with passion, we get energised by the way we do
things and it becomes Endorphin moment of our daily life.

Exercise for today:
Reclaim one hour in your daily planning and work HOLY HOUR on Q2. If you do not have time for anything, please check
how much time you spend on Q3 and Q4. Anybody can claim more time from Q4.

Focus is completely on Q2 activities and doing it with full of passion.
Identify one personal and professional activity and do it with full passion (இஷ்டப்பட்டு). As suggested by Pareto Principle, 80% of
our time we can spend in Q2 on our important priorities.

Covey wants you to answer these two questions

a.      
Think
of one activity that you absolutely know that if you did it superbly well and
consistently would produce marvellous results in your personal life

b.     
Then do
the same thing for your professional / work life

If one hour is
tough to accommodate, you can split 15 min chunks in 4 times or 20 mins in 3
times according to your personal convenience. If one hour is very difficult,
you can start with 30 mins.

15 mins/20mins/30
mins or 1 hour is left to your individual discretion/choices, what is not compromisable
is doing it regularly for 100 days without failure.

After living my
life in Q2, my life has been more balanced and effective. I am able to spend
time on my glass balls which we discussed in EP-18/EP-19.

On a career front,
I am learning new technology to become a more hands on person in addition to
being a people manager. Earlier I worked more on Q1 and Q3 (urgent ones). Now I
work more on Q2. Not only I am growing technically, I am enabling my team
members to challenge themselves by looking at 10000 feet of their career
aspirations.

On a personal
front, I spent time on health goal, spending time with my family members and
spending time on mission statement, weekly plans and time for volunteering etc.

Life is on Q2. By doing
things in Q2, by doing our master class work in Q2 by putting our signature
work, our signature becomes an autograph.

My life becomes
magical once I start living my life in Q2. Can you start living your life in
Q2?

Let’s convert
your Signature to an Autograph by living life in Q2 based on Holy Hour.

Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private
Victory to Public Victory –
Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 02^nd Nov, End date 8^th Nov – Saturday
to Friday)

Cheat sheets – Living Life in Q2:-

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UD0vf5eb3-ydPD7RfyurQnbrNxP5Ii8Z/view?usp=sharing

Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey

EP-32 – Personal Mission Statement 2.0– Private Victory to Public Victor...

எல்லா
ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.

Theme for the week (from today till next Friday (8^th Nov)) -
Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).

Yesterday we spoke about Personal mission statement. Today’s episode is mission
statement 2.0 as every choice of us and our life depends on it. It deserves a
2.0.

I want to share a word of caution here based on my personal experience
with personal mission statement.

When I first wrote my mission statement after listening to Gandhiji’s,
Martin Luther king’s, I was very inspired.  After “I have a dream” speech, I drafted my
mission statement immediately. Days become months, months became years, nothing
happened even after 5 years.  There was stark
contrast in expectation and reality. I did not prepare myself for it. I did not
take any action. It was too high for me to achieve that I gave up and slept feeling
lackadaisical.

Then I showed it to my coach. She looked at my mission statement and looked
at me multiple times from head to toe. She said looking into my eyes, “Rajesh,
you mission statement has too many should activities, have-tos, must have
statements/activities. I do not see a REAL YOU there”. I do not want the copy
of Gandhi’s or King’s speech. I want my Rajesh to emerge as an Individual. She
suggested me to write my mission statement in my own way.

That night I came home. I tore my older mission statement into pieces
and felt very relieved. Then I rewrote my mission statement 2.0. I wrote very
simple lines according to my values and principles. I write “Be Good, Do Good,
Speak about good thing and good thing will come to you(நல்லதே செய் நல்லதா பேசு நல்லதே நினை நல்லதே நடக்கும்). I want to give my best in every touch
points of human interaction in a selfless way. I want to be a fabulous person
in relationship and be an epitome of selfless care and compassion.

Earlier I wrote my mission statement like a Shankar Movie, it had more
of inspirational statement. On that night when I rewrote more like Vijay
Sethupathi realistic approach, I write it with authenticity in alignment my true
self, my values and principles which I can relate to it easily.

Now when I look at my mission statement, I feel charged up and motivated
unlike the older one. I see myself in my mission statement.

I have added a cheat sheet below which contains the leader’s mission
statement. Out of all the mission statement, I could relate to Emma’s mission
statement.

Who is Emma Bombeck?

Erma Louise Bombeck (née Fiste; February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an
American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that
described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also
published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers.

I am sharing her mission statement here as it is closer to my heart.

ERMA BOMBECK

Erma
Bombeck's reflections

https://msb.franklincovey.com/inspired/bombeck

"If I
had my life to live over," written by Erma Bombeck near the end of her
life, details the values Bombeck wished had guided her daily decisions. If you
were nearing the end of your life and you were writing this, what would you
include? Use those ideas to craft your mission statement.

If I had my
life to live over, I would have talked
less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was
stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living
room and worried much less about the
dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have
taken the time to listen to my
grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day
because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned
the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my
children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television -
and more while watching life. I would
have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have gone to bed when I was sick
instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't
there for the day. I would
never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or
was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead
of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and
realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to
assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have
said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been
more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ... But mostly,
given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really
see it ... live it...and never give it back.

I discussed about her mission statement with my wife(Sudha Rajesh) who
helps me in shaping my content on a daily basis.

While discussion, she said,

·        
She
will not be hard on herself

·        
She
will not be too critical on herself

·        
She
will not take herself and life too seriously

·        
She lives
every stages of her life fully and more gracefully.

·        
She
accepts herself as she is and others as they are.

·        
She
wont get angry for someone’s action eg., when someone jumps the signal

Reflecting on my mission statement, one thing is very clear “Sieze each
and every moment of your life”

Life happens in the present moment (இந்த மணி துளிகள் வாழ்க்கை).  Live your life fully in every minute of your
life. 60 mins of an hour became 60 magical moments. One day has 1440 magical
moments of life.

Exercise: Please rewrite your
mission statement in a realistic, practical way inline with who you are, your
values and principles.

https://msb.franklincovey.com/

Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private
Victory to Public Victory –
Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 02^nd Nov, End date 8^th Nov – Saturday
to Friday)

Check sheet of Leader’s mission statement

https://drive.google.com/file/d/15_LZchobFQtufPFTG8s907k9yjrolw5t/view?usp=sharing

Create and Live by a
Personal Mission Statement (Courtesy: Stephen Covey)

A personal mission statement is like a constitution by which you make
all decisions for your life. Highly effective people shape their own future
instead of letting other people, their culture, or their circumstances
determine it.

Personal Mission Statement – Your purpose and meaning in life.

Benefits of a Personal Mission
Statement:

·        
Clarifies what is important to you.

·        
Provides focus.

·        
Helps you design your life instead of having
it designed for you.

·        
Guides your day-to-day decisions

·        
Gives you’re a greater sense of meaning and
purpose.

Books: 7 Habits of highly effective
people – Stephen Covey

EP-31 – Personal Mission Statement - Mission Builder–Private Victory to ...

எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.



Theme for the week (from today till next Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).



I see this as a retrospective week of 30 Episodes similar to திரும்பி பார்க்கிறேன் program.

There is a Sabari character in Ramayana who tastes the ripen fruits herself first and gives the tastier one to Rama. Similarly I am going to take the best ones. We are going to take the best of the best and ingrain in us like a hammering a nail in a tree.



Today we are going to talk about Personal Mission Statement. We spoke enough about mission statement in EP-16.



Today we are going to discussion on how to craft it. Let us strategise ways to write mission statement.



You could use Stephen covey’s mission builder tool(https://msb.franklincovey.com/).



We can use Mission statement for Personal, Family, and Team. There is a link for your values and principles that defines you.



Why is this personal mission statement important to us? I wrote my mission statement 10 years ago which is materialising now. I am like Sanjay Ramaswamy in Ghajini movie and it took 10 years for me. What is special about Personal mission statement? Let us hear from Covey directly in his own words.



Create and Live by a Personal Mission Statement (Courtesy: Stephen Covey)



A personal mission statement is like a constitution by which you make all decisions for your life. Highly effective people shape their own future instead of letting other people, their culture, or their circumstances determine it.



Personal Mission Statement – Your purpose and meaning in life.



Benefits of a Personal Mission Statement:

• Clarifies what is important to you.

• Provides focus.

• Helps you design your life instead of having it designed for you.

• Guides your day-to-day decisions

• Gives you’re a greater sense of meaning and purpose.



Exercise

https://msb.franklincovey.com/



I was literally in lowest point (சாக்கடை) in life 10 years ago. I was not confident about myself, low in self esteem, my voice wont rise in any meeting, I was full of procrastination, lazy, not committed to myself, not taking any personal responsibility of my life. I slept on not achieving my dreams.



What happens once you write Personal mission statement. Let me take example from Bigil movie, when the individual player play for themselves, they won’t hit the goal in football. Then they have to roam around the ground for 10 times. After 4th attempts, every player goes through the personal transformation. They think about the team first rather themselves and each and every player hit the goal successfully.



That is how I could relate to myself. When I lived for myself, I was lazy, going through boredom, did not take any commitment and did not take personal responsibility.



After I crafted my Personal Mission Statement, I find a meaning and purpose in life which transforms everything in me similar to the player in Bigil movie. It is equivalent to charging up ourselves similar to what Vijay does in the movie(கொளுத்திப்போட்ட மாதிரி scene). Once you charge yourself, every nerve, every neuron and every DNA of you act in charged up state(ஆதி அந்தம் நாடி நரம்பு எல்லாம் தெறிக்க விடுவீங்க).



My mentor suggested taking something bigger than myself. That helped me in crafting my personal mission statement.



Exercise: Mission builder



Take 20 mins of your time today and write the personal mission statement. Site mentions the mission statement of Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Beethoven, and Benjamin Franklin etc



Please write your own mission statement in alignment with values, principles, what is important to you, how do you want to design your life, day-to-day actions etc. Create a one page draft. Based on this statement you can design your life. You can supercharge(தெறிக்க விடலாம்) yourself. It is like charging yourself on a daily basis. This creates a hero in us. Conquering ourselves is the biggest challenge for us(ஆள போறான் தமிழன்). Mastering our own self and conquering the self is the best in life and that will bring Hero in us. It is not a big thing at all(கம்ப சூத்திரம் இல்லை).  If I can do it, anybody can do it. Everybody can do it.



Viktor Franklin write of “Man search for meaning” says – We detect rather than invent our missions in life. Let us all detect it.



ஆதி அந்தம் நாடி நரம்பு எல்லாம் தெறிக்க விடுங்க. Bring the hero and Heroine in us.



Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private Victory to Public Victory – Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 02nd Nov, End date 8th Nov – Saturday to Friday)



Check sheet of Leader’s mission statement

https://drive.google.com/file/d/15_LZchobFQtufPFTG8s907k9yjrolw5t/view?usp=sharing



Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey

EP-30 – Private Victory Precedes before Public Victory - Zero to Hero 10...

வணக்கம்.

We have covered 3
Habits so far. Be Proactive, Begin With End in Mind and Put First Think First
are the 3 habits related to Private Victory.

We are technically
in the midpoint of 7 habits. We have completed the Private victory section. It
is similar to an interval in a movie. As these the seeds that need to get
ingrained in us, so that the tree blossoms.

We For the next
couple of days, we are going to ponder on our Private victories so that it gets
ingrained in all of us.

Theme for the week (from
today till next Friday (8^th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public
Victory.

Gandhi Story [Courtesy: Gandhi Story by PETE
REILLY]

No one is required to change more
than those of us who present ourselves as Personal leaders of  reform and transformation. Why? Because we
are required to model the behaviours we want other to adapt.

There is a
story of a woman in India who was upset that her son was eating too much sugar.
No matter how much she chided him, he continued to satisfy his sweet tooth.
Totally frustrated, she decided to take her son to see his great hero Mahatma
Gandhi.

She
approached the great leader respectfully and said,

Sir, my son
eats too much sugar. It is not good for his health. Would you please advise him
to stop eating it?”

Gandhi
listened to the woman carefully, turned and spoke to her son,

Go home and
come back in two weeks.”

The woman
looked perplexed and wondered why he had not asked the boy to stop eating
sugar. She took the boy by the hand and went home.

Two weeks
later she returned, boy in hand. Gandhi motioned for them to come forward. He
looked directly at the boy and said,

Boy, you
should stop eating sugar. It is not good for your health.”

The boy
nodded and promised he would not continue this habit any longer.

The boy’s
mother turned to Gandhi and asked,

Why didn’t
you tell him that two weeks ago when I brought him here to see you?”

Gandhi
smiled,

Mother, two
weeks ago I was still eating sugar myself.”

Gandhi lived
in such integrity that he would not allow himself to give advice unless he was
living by it himself.

Exercise for this week: 

Please take one habit of you and try to practice
it on a daily basis for a period of two weeks before we preach similar to our
Mahatma. I heard your mind voice in Vadivelu tone “வைச்சாண்டா அப்பு’
What is your personal habit which you want to overcome (அப்பு)? It could be
related to your Pancha Thanthiram (EP-19).

-   
It
could be spending quality time with wife/daughter (Family - Glass ball #1)

-   
It
could be your quality time with friends (Friendship – Glass ball #2)

-   
It
could be your health goal that you want to incorporate in daily practice
(Health – Glass Ball #3)

-   
It could
be your solitude time, time in silence – (Spirit – Glass ball #4)

-   
It
could be coming home early from work instead of spending 12-16 hours at
work(Career – Rubber ball #5)

-   
it
could be avoiding temptation to answer whatapp messages at 3am in the morning

-   
it
could be a habit of overcoming your too much addiction in Social media, FB

-   
It
could be a habit of overcoming your game addiction

-   
It
could be a habit of overcoming your addiction to smoking

-   
It
could be a habit of overcoming your addiction to drinking

-   
It could
be a habit of spending time with yourself in Quadrant 2 instead of spending
time for families without any self-care

-   
It
could be following proactive approaches instead of reactive one.

-   
It
could be avoiding impulsive purchases for a period of two weeks to avoid
shopaholic behavior

The
idea is our habits need to be aligned with our talking. Your Video (Actions)
needs to be aligned with your audio (habits). Our children learn from us. We
are the one who bought new model mobile in Great Indian Festival and gave the
older phone to our children. We cannot complain about their addiction. They are
learning from us and our habits. If we have to teach them, how to handle device
time effectively, we have to practice them with integrity like Mahatma.

If
you do not know what habit to choose, please ask your wife/spouse and they will
clearly tell it upfront.

I
asked my wife and my youngest daughter. My youngest daughter says, “I am
spending too much time in laptop after I have started this youtube channel” I
will pick it up later.

For
the next two weeks, I want to walk 20 mins a day for one week with my wife
which I have discontinued after putting these videos. I do it from 8am to
8:20am daily for two weeks.

On account of 30^th
day எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும் நன்றி

Reference:-

Theme for the week: Private
Victory to Public Victory – Courtesy: Habit3 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits
of highly effective people.

(Start Date 2^nd Nov, End date 8^th Nov – Saturday
to Friday)

Videos:-

Stephen M. R. Covey: He was even better in private.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0cL9U407C8

7 Effective Habits of Stephen Covey-Secret to personal effectiveness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RgN7bJgKwQ

Articles:-

Gandhi Story by PETE
REILLY

https://preilly.wordpress.com/2008/07/19/gandhi-story/

Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey