This site provides a collection of Self-Development / Personality development articles, tips and suggestions from various sources to SPA (Spread Positive Awareness).
Collection of finest things in life. It is a journey from Information to Transformation. These are the articles helped me in evolving my thought process. I do not own these content. i have given the relevant references and sources details to the best of my knowledge. I am ready to remove it if required.
Day-18 - Live life in a holistic way (முழுமையான வாழ்வு)
Begin with End in Mind (Habit 2 Week) – Zero to Hero 100 days Personal Transformation Journey
எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ம் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
Theme for the week, from today till next Friday (25th Oct), we are going to keep Begin with the End in Mind - Stephen covey Habit-2.
Couple of months back, I attended a management workshop.
There is one exercise wherein a group of blind people explaining about an Elephant by touching different sections of Elephant. Some touches the tail and says that it was like rope and some touches trunk and says it was like snake. Some says elephant’s leg as tree.
Similar to Elephant and blind man exercises, we all of us look at life as individual compartment and individual silos. We look at life in one or two compartment by keeping family, career, Spouse, possessions, work. If we keep work as a centre of focus, our health and family goes for a task. Similar way if we keep family as a centre, our career goes for a task.
This is where I can relate to yesterday’s discussion on what is our centre of focus. Our centre of focus is similar to The Sun. All planets are revolving around the Sun. Similarly we keep our main focus as the Sun and keep other balls in balance.
My close friend focuses on his career. He works 18 hours per day. In the process, he lost his health and family. Other friend of mine focuses her life in kid’s education and she lost her health. Their kids work in a totally different profession than their education.
Are we moving to cities by losing our core balls(competencies)? Are we are slowly moving towards hell. Are we losing our relationship?
Covey suggests looking at life in totality. I am attaching a wonderful 5 mins video of covey. Please watch it. That is the exercise for today.
We are as strong as Elephant’s strength. Even the great scientists, uses only 15-20% of our brain. Let us bring our whole strengths in all quadrant of life.
As discussed earlier, Aamir khan’s Satyameva Jayate says, “We are living 100 years life in 10 years”. Let us do a master plan 100 / 80 years’ life.
Lets revisit Covey’s 80th Birthday 5 mins video and let us visualize celebrating ourselves there and set our priorities to live a life in holistic way (முழுமையான வாழ்வு)
Reference:- Theme for the week: Begin with End in Mind – Courtesy: Habit1 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people. (Start Date 19th Oct, End date 25th Oct – Saturday to Sunday)
Theme for the week, from today till next Friday (25th Oct), we are going to keep Begin with the End in Mind - Stephen covey Habit-2.
My colleague of mine watched “choose your balls” episode and asked me “Enna ball nu dhan theriyala” (எந்த பாலுனு தான் தெரியல) after seeing our yesterday’s video. The person asked it in an innocent way.
I was shocked and surprised. I did not expect this question. I am like Nagesh in Thiruvelaiyadal Movie, who was good at asking questions. This thought was kept on lingering in mind for the past two days.
Yesterday while I was driving back home and coincidently I listened to Dr. Jayathasri balakrishnan. I adore this mam because she brings care, compassion, strictness, clarity etc etc. She is a lifetime teacher, Public speaker and a compassionate genuine human being.
I had this difficulty as well when I read Habit 2. I thought of addressing it today straight away. This is a chutta content from Jayanthasree. All credits go to her. I am just a mouth piece.
At this point, I want to take up Dr. Jayanthasri Balakrishnan. Coincidently she also spoke about juggling balls. I felt it was a pure law of attraction moment. She spoke about 5 important balls and order of keeping the ball. I prefer her because she is from our society and related to Tamilian context.
This is a sutta content. Credit goes to her. I am always giving the link in the youtube video description. I always post all the links in the youtube video description.
These are the five balls.
1. Family – Family comes first. I know the pain of running a family without head of the family (Financial engine). My mom lost her father when she was 10 years old. Family always comes first. Company like Infosys find a replacement. There is no replacement of us in the family.
2. Friends – She keeps Friends as the second ball. This is the key. They are the ones who shapes us. “Show me your friends, and I will tell who you are” says quote. According to Bharathi Basker, Marriage for a women is like uprooting base from one place to other. In particular to married women, this is the first relationship they lose immediately after marriage. One of my colleagues cut herself off immediately after her marriage. My humble request to all married women, please do not lose your friendship at any cost. I am not taking about your 3000 friends in FB. I am taking about those 3 friends to whom you can call at 3am in the morning who can pick up the phone without any hesitation, with complete care and compassion. எதிர் நீச்சல் படத்தில் நாகேஷ் வசனம் நண்பனின் மரணத்தைவிட நட்பின் மரணம் கொடியது. Friendship is the second ball.
3. Health is the third ball. In Mahabharatha, Yaksha questions to Tharuman, What is more desirable than wealth? Tharuman says Health. We all know health is wealth. Let us keep this as our third ball.
4. Manam/Spirit/Emotional / Mental wellbeing is our 4th ball. What is spirit - the non-physical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character; the soul. “Mana mana mana mental manadhil” is the need of the hour. Deepika Padukone is the brand ambassador for this. This is our 4th ball.
5. Career: - It comes last here wherein we generally keep it in the front. In corporate world, people are replaceable. Be it Infosys or Apple, all employees are replaceable.
This is where the master class experience of Dr. Jayanthasri comes in. She says the first 4 balls (Family, Friendship, Health, and Spirit) are all glass balls. You have to handle with care. If it breaks, it cannot be fixed. Let us handle these 4 balls well.
5th ball which is a career is like a rubber ball. Even if you drop it, it bounces back. In that way, we can rise from it even if we drop it.
Word of caution here, all 5 fingers are not same. If you are bachelor or newbie in the corporate, and you have limited balls to juggle. You can always keep career as your first or second ball. கண்ணால் காண்பதும் பொய், காதால் கேட்பதும் பொய், தீர விசாரிப் பதே மெய் என்ற முதுமொழிக்கு இணங்கச் செயல்படுஓம்
Exercise for today: Finalise your five balls and its order of priority.
Credit: I want to dedicate this episode to my colleague Sabeena who asked this question in the first place. This topic was not at all in my list. Kudos to her.
Not only to her, I want to thank everyone who has deliberately shared their essence, best articles, advice, books to read, and golden nuggets etc with me through various comments, Whatsapp message etc. Like I said, I am just a mouth piece here. Content comes from various sources. Thank to once and all. Even these YouTube videos are being shaped by you all. Thank you so much to each and every one of you who are making this journey enjoyable and wonderful.
எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ம் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் நன்றி .Thank you Hero’s and Heroines’. I owe you a lot to you.
Reference:- Theme for the week: Begin with End in Mind – Courtesy: Habit2 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people. (Start Date 19th Oct, End date 25th Oct – Saturday to Sunday)
Habit 2: Begin With The End in Mind - Part B: Choosing a Life Center (In case if you do not watch it yesterday) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46XhE8rM3uY Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
Theme for the week, from today till next Friday (25th Oct), we are going to keep Begin with the End in Mind as a weekly series - Stephen covey’s Habit-2.
In the circus, we use to see a guy who juggles balls. He starts with two balls, slowly he adds one by one. He comfortably juggles 4 to 5 balls. He effectively and efficiently manages to juggle 7 to 8 balls after hours and hours of practice. That is when he gets standing ovation and applause. At one point, he deliberately adds more and more balls to collapse it.
This is where I go to Stephen covey. Being a Sunday, Please watch his video without fail today. It’s just 5 min video. He talks about various balls in our life. He asks what our focus is.
Similar to the circus guy, we also start our life student, career, husband, wife, volunteering, aspiration, passion, spirituality etc. When it comes to women, she juggles many more balls. Debate speaker Bharathi baskar says, “Similar tortoise which carries its shell throughout life, women carries her home all the times, each and every moments of her day-today life and throughout her life. She juggles many more balls.
- What are your balls?
- What is your focus?
As it is a Sunday, let us spend 10-20 mins for ourselves after watching Stephen covey’s video. Let us identify our balls / quadrants.
- What are the different roles that we play in our daily life
- What is our centre focus
This helps to create main focus point for our life and life decisions. Habit 2 is one of the best habits to master. With my 25 years of experience and numerous books, people who mentor me, to whom I have learnt from, I still feel this is the best habit to master. I may be wrong, Please validate with your frame of reference.
The circus guy did much practice to juggle multiple balls at the same time. What about us. Have we done any practice to juggle multiple balls like Work, life, passion etc? Moreover he gets more and more stages to practice his skill. Unfortunately for us, we all have only one life. There is no rewind button in life.
- What are our balls?
- How many balls we can simultaneously juggle?
- What is our tipping point before we collapse?
What are your balls? What are you juggling with is the question for today.
Let us choose our Life Centre. உன் வாழ்க்கை உன் கையில்
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Begin with End in Mind – Courtesy: Habit1 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date 19th Oct, End date 25th Oct – Saturday to Sunday)
Habit 2: Begin With The End in Mind - Part B: Choosing a Life Center https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46XhE...
Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
Theme for the
week, from today till next Friday(25th Oct), we are going to keep Begin
with the End in Mind - Stephen covey Habit-2.
In our
company, all of us a sheet of paper acts as a guiding principles. It is our
bible /quaran /Bhawad Gita etc. It is our mission statement. It explains statement
of the beliefs or aims which guide someone's actions.
Whenever we are in cross roads from software engineer to CEO,
we refer to our mission statement. Every quarter or every year, we attend
training to talk about our mission statement.
Now I want to go to Stephen covey he suggests everyone to
have our own mission statements.
When I wrote my personal mission statement after watching
covey, this personal credo talks about Who am I, What am I passionate about,
What am I becoming, what is important to me etc. It helps me to discover my
strengths. It helps me / guide me in all daily interaction as small as setting
up team meeting to new year agenda to everything. This one page gives direction
and compass to my life and daily challenges.
Instead of me explaining about Habit2, I want all of you to experience
Stephen covey’s Habit-
The link is given below wherein he talks about 80th
birthday experience.
He is my master and he is Guru. Please watch the link without
fail. In the coming week, we will do deep drive on how to put habit2 in daily
practice.
Thiruvallur says, எண்ணித்துணிககருமம்துணிந்தபின்
எண்ணுவம்என்பதுஇழுக்கு.
Couplet
Explanation:
Consider, and then undertake a
matter; after having undertaken it, to say "We will consider," is
folly.
மு.வரதராசன்விளக்கம்:
(செய்யத் தகுந்த) செயலையும்வழிகளை எண்ணியபிறகே துணிந்துதொடங்க வேண்டும், துணிந்த பின்எண்ணிப் பார்க்கலாம்என்பது குற்றமாகும்.
To have right thoughts, we need to have mission statement.
In the cine
world, all great directors go to producer with a one liner that becomes a
movie. What is your one liner or one page statement for your life. It won’t
come in jiffy or angel won’t drop it in our laps. Let us start scribbling. All
of us have it, we do not have to invent it, just detect it.
தேடுங்கள் தேடுங்கள்
தேடிகிட்டே இருங்கள்
Exercise:
Watch steven covey video and start scribbling
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Begin
with End in Mind – Courtesy: Habit1 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of
highly effective people.
(Start Date 19th Oct, End date 25th Oct –
Saturday to Sunday)
80th Birthday -
A Video From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
On this 15 episode we
are completing Stephen covey Habit-1 Proactive Series by today.
Imagine Actor Kamal in Tenali
movie wherein he spoke about Fear by keeping Vel in his hand.
Scene 1 - Rajesh
1.0 – Reactive Person.
I was like
that Tenali Kamal Hassan. My fear was speaking fluently in English. I was
avoiding this and trying ways to escape it similar to the rat was getting hidden
in a rat hole.
This fear
started in the age 17 as soon as completed my 12th and came to Chennai
for the first time. This rat grew bigger and bigger as the day process and
could not escape from that rat hole.
In fact I went
to an extreme extent of learning a new language of Hindi as I could not
converse well in English. In spite of the short comings, I became a MBA – Honours
graduate from US University. In many instances, I would not open by mouth in
public and felt very shameful and I did not even talk about my MBA as I was not
conversing well in English. I used to bite my nails in the last row of any
meetings similar to Thenali kamalhassan. வெட்கப்பட்டேன் வேதனைப்பட்டேன் வருத்தப்பட்டேன்.
I used to blame my mother and English teachers due to this reactive approach.
Days become
months. Months became years. I avoided my shortcomings almost a period of 20
years.
It was not
only affecting myself. I became villains to my team members. I did not hire the
A+ candidate with good English. I was hiring guys like me because of
unconditional biases that I had with good conversant folks. I was thinking that
they were not hard worker and வாய் யால் வடை சுடற கோஷ்ட்டி. It was not only
affecting me and it affected my team and team environment. Similar to me, my
team members were not growing and they were not challenged enough. It was all because
of this fear and insecure reactive approach.
Thalaivar Superstar
says, if you are getting same problem again and again, fix the problem. I hit
upon a checkmate and career growth got stalled because of communication skill.
It was Steven
covey’s paradigm shift moment. Now I want to bring Stephen covey’s proactive
approach and taking personal responsibility. I wanted to be a Rajesh 2.0 and
become a proactive person.
A new fresher
who has an excellent conversation skill in English (வார்த்தை ஜாலம் விளையாடுதல்),
I used to admire the language skill like a vadivelu. I approach that person to
become my mentor in English & I was taken to British council similar to
Sridevi in English Viglish movie. Hats off to my English mentor, without my
English mentor, I would not be in a position to talk to you all in this youtube
channel.
Mahatma says,
Do or Die(செய் அல்லது செத்து மடி). I was dying every day and every moment for
more than 20 years.
What happens
in British council when you go for Business English for executives.
They have a self-assessment
test which is the best one to assess my current level of English. Test happens
in Reading, Writing, Speaking and Grammar. As a part of test, I spoke to an
English assessor for about half an hour to assess my current level of English.
When I came of the room, first time in those 20 years, I felt confident about
myself. என்னை உணர்த்த தருணங்கள். I was like Wills smith after getting his job
in Pursuit of Happyness movie.
I was happy
because I spoke to an expert for half an hour means I was able to communicate
and assessment gave my current level. Learning English is a big ocean by
itself. This gave a good starting point.
Finally I
throw that Vel which tenali kamalhassan for carrying due to fear and insecurity
and took English books similar to Sridevi in English Viglish.
I am not promoting
any one institute that is not my intent. The course requires 6 hours of time
per week either weekday or weekend. About 7 weeks or 42 hours to complete one
level.
This can be
accommodated by anybody along with your job. If you are like me who are working
in corporate jobs, and dealing with overseas client, English is the important
business language.
Word of
caution, learning English is not like you became rich in one song like
Annamalai movie, you have to put consistent effort over a period of 6 months to
one year. I am not the one who take help and there are many more corporate
employees come to British council. I want to talk simple English and fix 20% of
mistakes that creates 80% of errors in speaking.
Studies says
if you know around 2500 word families are good enough to speak English fluently
to begin with.(Studying
heritage language learners reveal that a person with a vocabulary size of 2,500
passive word-families and 2,000 active word-families can speak a language
fluently.)
I have given
link for top 800/ top 2000 frequently used words in English. Slowly I
transformed from a Rat to tiger and Now a days I sit in the first two rows in
any meeting.
Now I am
telling you learning English is a ஜுஜுபி matter. I should have done it in the
early years of my career. I would have felt high in confidence and self-esteem
in those early years and I would have hit a halt in my career progression due
to English. If you are in a corporate setting and want to converse in English,
please start in the early age itself. சூத்திரம் கிடையாது.
Coming back, Conversing
in English was my fear. What is your FEAR.
Exercise: Run
towards your fear. Run towards ____________(Fill in the blank) by thinking 20
sec to 20 mins. Let us work on it in these 100 days. Please message me or email
me if you need any help on this topic.
Let me share
the strategies to address any fear.
· Understand
fear and embrace it.
· Plan
to attack your fear. RUN TOWARDS YOUR FEAR.
· Name
your fear.
· Think
long term
· Educate
yourself like Sridevi
· Practice,
Practice and Practice
· Get
help
· Follow
someone footsteps.
To conclude,
Actor Ajith says என்னோட ஒவ்வொரு நிமிடமும் நான் என்னை செதுக்கிட்டேன். என்னை மாதிரி
20 years செத்து மடியாதிங்க வைச்சு செஞ்சுடுங்க
Poster: FEAR- False Evidence Appearing Real.
Reference:-
Is F.E.A.R. Holding You Back?
is an acronym for False Evidence
Appearing Real. There's no true threat of immediate
physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us,
actually nothing there at all. F.E.A.R.May 28, 2010
எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ம் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
In this week, we are celebrating Stephen covey Habit-1 Proactive Series, today we are going to converse on only medicine which is the solution to all our problems and all our விடாது கறுப்புs” (Self harming / self-destructive force)”. Any guess.
This medicine is available to all of us which we are sparingly used by us. Any guess.
All of my viewers and my daughters told me that I am not using this medicine in our videos.
More importantly, it is free of cost. You do not have buy from anywhere and it is available with/within us.
Today’s topic is Laughter.
In recent college reunion, My friend who is very tough male like Bheem boy. He is also a business magnet in Coimbatore. He attended the event with his family. In the closing ceremony his wife spoke to me and all of us saying that My friend laughed wholeheartedly after many more years. She thanked every one of us.
Where did we lose these laughters all along in our life? Why do we lose? Enke tholaithom? எங்கே தொலைத்தோம், எப்படி தொலைத்தோம்.
A child laughs 400 times a day, an adult hardly laughs 15 times. What is happening to us. In the busyness of daily struggle, we are losing our laughter and ourselves in the process.
Laughter is the best medicine. It reduces stress hormones and releases endorphins which is a feel-good chemical. It releases our tensions and takes care of well-being.
My inspiring hero Aamir Khan’s Satyameva jayate program, a well-educated doctor says we are living the life of 100 years in 10 years. We are all busy being busy. நூறு வருட வாழ்க்கையை பத்து வருடத்தில் வாழ பார்க்கிறோம்.
This great doctor teaches us to laughter therapy and I am giving the link before. Initially you have to fake it to make it. It works and it does wonders.
What are our ways to laugh me?
• Spend time with kids. They have these medicines abundantly.
• Watch clean harmless comedies? Watch Crazy Mohan/YG Mahindra kind of dramas
• Timeless comedies – Sivaji Ganesan / Nagesh Thiruvilaiyal or Thangavelu Comedy in Kalyana Parisu or Gowvunda mani/Senthil combo or vadivel comedies etc.
• Read Calvin and Hobbes
• Learn laughter therapy or join laughter club in your nearby place or you can start the laughter club. I have seen some laughter therapy sessions in Marina beach.
• Join the humour club in your vicinity.
• Watch toastmaster’s humouress speeches in youtube
• Charlie Chaplin series
Exercise for today and remaining 100 days:
Please make it a point to laugh at least 10 mins a day.
Tagline: சிரித்து வாழ வேண்டும் - Sirithu Vazha Vendum
Please share 3 ways to laugh more in our daily life in FB comments to this topic so that we all can learn from our best practices.
வாய் விட்டு சிரித்தால் நோய் விட்டு போகும் - (vaai vittu sirithaal nOi vittu pogum) - It is a famous proverb in tamil
Laughter is the Best Medicine - HelpGuide.org https://www.helpguide.org/articles/me...
Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
Theme for the week: Be Proactive – Courtesy: Habit1 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date 12th Oct, End date 18th Oct – Saturday to Sunday)
Habit1: Video (Please watch it without fail)
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Habit 1 - Presented by Stephen Covey Himself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaTmv...
எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ம் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
In this week, we are celebrating Stephen covey Habit-1 Proactive Series, today we are going to converse about Self-Talk / Self-Acceptance.
We have earlier discussed on “விடாது கறுப்பு” (Destructive force)”. We all have this விடாது கறுப்பு with us which our self-talk. We spend most of our times in this self-talk.
For example, any day if you stand in front of the mirror, this விடாது கறுப்பு woke up instantaneously keep on saying “I am black, I am ugly, I am fat, I am lean etc etc.
This self-talk never sleeps & wakes up before we do any work or any new initiative. Please watch your thoughts which wake up very violently when we go for interviews or performance discussion with manager. In fact the world around us wants to install more and more self-destructive thoughts to make us feel less powerful and uglier so that they can sell more stuff. Let us converse about this. Here we list our short comings in a endless way. We all do a lot of analyse and para-analyse when it comes to us.
Cut… cut… cut - End of scene1
======================================================
Moving to Scene2:
Let us do a mindfulness exercise day or whenever you get time today. Take a rose. Just focus on the rose for 20 mins. This is one of exercises that Leadership guru Robin Sharma suggests. If you are hi-tech guy, you can do this exercise in virtual reality.
Feel the rose, smell rose, feel the texture of the rose, observe the pedals, rose buds etc etc. feel throne and greener part in the bottom. Just focus on the rose for 20 mins. How do you feel? What are your emotions? We relish the beauty of ROSE wholeheartedly.
Let us mix these two scenes together.
Steven covey takes about Paradigm shift. Please listen carefully. This is where our paradigm shifts happens. A rose flower which has a maximum of 2-3 days life is so beautifully crafted. What about us. What about you?
Are not we beautiful and are not we wonderful. There are 7 Billion people in the world. No one is similar. Even the identical twins are different. Everyone of us as unique as The rose exercise which we did earlier.
ஒரு ரோஜாவோடு மல்லிகை அல்ல ரோஜாவோடு ரோஜாவை ஒப்பிடாதீங்க - Oru Vairamuthu Kavithai.
We all are unique. We all have wonderful unique talents and strength. We are as beautiful as or more beautiful than rose.
There is a irony here. when it comes to Rose, we are wholeheartedly appreciate it beauty and whereas it comes to us we criticise ourselves to the core by this விடாது கறுப்பு.
Exercise for today: Similar to the Rose exercise, Please do the exercise with yourself in front of mirror. Please appreciate about yourself, your inner beauty, your strengths, the challenges that you have faced. You can list down all positives about yourself.
There is a mirror image wherein cat sees a lion in the mirror. What matters the most is how you see yourself in the mirror.
In Alcohol anonyms program, they say a quote, accept things that you cannot change, change what you cannot accept.
Understand those விடாது கறுப்பு thoughts and empower with positive thoughts.
ரோஜாவை நாம ரசித்தது போல கருப்பா இருந்தாலும் சிகப்பாஇருந்தாலும் குண்டா இருந்தாலும் ஒல்லியா இருந்தாலும் நெட்டையா இருந்தாலும் குட்டையா இருந்தாலும் நாம எல்லோருமே ஐஸ்வர்யா ராய்கள் தான் சூப்பர்ஸ்டார்ஸ் தான்
நீ உன்னை நேசி உலகம் உன்னை நேசிக்க துவங்கும் என்னா நமக்கு நாம தான் உலகம்– Josephine billings
To over our own விடாது கறுப்பு, we have to say ourselvesஅழகே உன்னை ஆர்த்திக்கிறான் என் அழகே உன்னை நேசிக்கிறேன்
See you tomorrow.
Reference:-
==========
Tag: Accept your beauty (நீ உன்னை நேசி)
Poster: https://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-pictu...
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Be Proactive – Courtesy: Habit1 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date 12th Oct, End date 18th Oct – Saturday to Sunday)
Habit1: Video (Please watch it without fail)
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Habit 1 - Presented by Stephen Covey Himself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaTmv...
