CC9 - Persuade With Power - I am what I am

I am what I am

How many of you attended the first toastmaster meeting as a guest? How many came back in the following weeks? I did not… What happened to me? How come I am here? The story unfolds..

Dear TMOD, my dear follow and future TMs and respected guests, Good morning

In my first toastmaster meeting as a guest, DTM Adithya Maheswaran delivered a flawless speech with energy and enthusiasm. Followed by it our walking Oxford dictionary Patt delivered a persuasive speech with an awesome word play. I was awe struck by their performance. For a moment, I thought I want to speak like Adithya and Patt. How many of you agree with me on this?

During the meeting, I started comparing my speaking abilities with Adithya and Patt, in fact with every other toastmaster in the hall. I started comparing myself with others and in the process, I completely underestimated myself. I felt very inferior to speak to any of the toastmasters on that day. I was totally lost in the crowd. Patt says “I am in the top of the world” where my inner voice says “I am in the bottom of the world”. When I came out of Ruby hall, I did not have enough confidence to speak to anyone. I was overwhelmed by self-rejection and self-criticism who are my worst enemies.

I literally ran away from Toastmasters for a period of two years, I was not even willing to hide under TM even if there was a heavy downpour.  Meanwhile, it was time for Rhetoric 2010 and my wife bought a ticket for Rhetoric. I met Saro Velrajan. He asked me, why are you not coming to the club? I told him about the problem. What he told me that day was so invaluable and instrumental that I remember every word. He said,

1. never compare yourself with others. If you do, you wil not be able to stand in front of the audience and speak comfortably.

2. Accept yourself as you are. Only when you accept, you can learn and then grow.  

Those words of wisdom from Saro were the turning point. Rejuvenated, revived, revitalized,  I  started attending toastmasters meeting, half-heartedly. Slowly I started taking up roles and delivering speech. I fumbled few times in the journey. In the process, I was slowly gaining confidence.

Today,   I am a much more confident person that I was. This new found confidence helped me in discovering many more untapped potential in me in addition to public speaking. I have turned as a coach and trainer. I did a few college to corporate program. All this became possible, only after I accepted myself as I am.

I am not saying I am this or that. I am an average, normal, ordinary country side guy, if I can speak before audience, anybody can do it. For this transformation to happen, your first step is to accept yourself.

There are 7 billion people around the world. All are different in some or other way, even the identical twins are different. Similarly we have 50 speakers in the hall; we all are different with different style of speaking. I am different from others but I can always learn better ways of communicating from any speaker without losing my own style of speaking.

To put it simply in software language, you do not have change your base class, at the same time you can always add features and attributes to your base class. Just be your own self. Be yourself. Be yourself and Be yourself.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons in some way than yourself.

I realized another profound learning, “always compare yourself with your previous self”. If you are giving your cc2 speech, please make sure you deliver it better than cc1 and set a new benchmark for yourself. This goes on and on till c10 or DTM.

The competition is always between you and your previous speech. It is not only limited to speaking, in your professional life as well. Let us look for inspiration from movie and sport world. My superstar Rajni sets his own record in collections and beats his own record. Similar is the case with master blaster Sachin Tendulkar.

The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you’re capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else – Goffrey Gaberio, the Olympic Gold medalist. Never ever compare yourself with others.

Tell yourself “No one is superior to me, No one is inferior to me, I’m what I am”. Let me repeat. “No one is superior to me, No one is inferior to me, I’m what I am”.

Over to you TMOD