Tuesday, December 31, 2019

EP- 86 – NO RESOLUTIONS - This year, instead of making resolutions, I wa...

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EP- 86 – NO
RESOLUTIONS…This year, instead of making resolutions, I want to… - Greatness Series - Zero to Hero 100
days Personal Transformation Journey

We are in
Episode 86.

இந்த YouTube channel லை வாழ வைக்கும் தெய்வங்களாகிய எல்லா
ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும், ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் இனிய புத்தாண்டு நல் வாழ்த்துக்கள்.

As we have
completed all the 7 Habits of Stephen Covey, I want take up “Greatness Series” to
address other best behaviours, habits, simplifying tools, good books, Videos,
TED Talks and resources.

I don't want to have any resolutions this year. Why?

Today I want to
share my experiments with New Year (NY) resolutions.

One thing most of
us do very regularly every year is, we all want to keep resolutions in every
New Year. If you go to Marina beach after 1st Jan, you won’t get any
parking. You won’t get any parking till Santhome beach. Beach is full of
enthusiast and New Year revolutionist. If I still continue the resolutions till
3rd week of Jan, only two persons will be there in the beach. It is
Gandhi statue and you. All those New Year resolutions won’t even last for 3
weeks. I am the best example for those people who can’t keep any New Year
resolutions.

I did all kind of
weird things with respect to NY resolutions. My mom always says me as “படிச்ச முட்டாள்”.

Before every New
Year, I used to be in a different mould. I go to Robin Sharma’s site, Tony
Robbins site and Deepak Chopra’s site. I make a big list by coping and pasting
different resolutions.

Even by reading the
list, I used to get tired and got exhausted. It won’t even last for two weeks.
I did hourly planning. It did not work either.

Then I did not keep
any resolutions for few years.

NY resolutions
created so much turbulence within me.

At times, I planned
so much. I planned each and every hour of my life. I failed miserably that I
could not keep for a week.

There was a huge
gap between expectations and I reality.

Then I stopped
taking any resolutions to have inner peace and calm.

That is when I
approached my mentor. He always says, Think of something that is bigger than
yourself. I could not think anything bigger either. That too flopped.

He says, Your NY
resolutions should be aligned to your personality, who you are, what you are
passionate about. He says, “I want to see you in NY resolutions”.  That was mind blogging revelation for me.

Finally he told to
keep 4 things in a year. Keep working on those things. This four resonates with
me very well.

Guiding principles
for new year resolutions
·        
Find
inner peace and self-acceptance
·        
Find
peace in family and relationship
·        
Simplify
your life and maximise your happiness, success, personal growth.
·        
Start
small time increments
·        
Spend
one holy hour on yourself to sharpen the saw. If one hour is a stretch,
practice 3 times of 20 mins each.
As a life skill
coach, I am listing the bucket list based on various information and research
articles that I have read. Here are my 2 cents.
In Sharpen the saw,
we spoke about 4 quadrants. I want to have the resolutions around 4 quadrants.
Renew Regularly in the Four Dimensions













Physical/Health (exercise, nutrition and
stress management
):
We discussed this
on EP-60 – உடலே உன்னை ஆராதிக்கிறேன் – Physical Dimensions - Sharpen the Saw –
Zero to Hero in 100 Days - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTZP2avMhlY
·        
Get the amount of sleep you know your body
needs. We have started sleeping less
and less. Our quality of sleep is going away. It is creating a lot of imbalance
in our biological system and creating many more health issues. Sleep
adequately.
o  
What Happens to Your Body When You Don’t Get
Enough Sleep - Sleep needs by age group https://health.clevelandclinic.org/happens-body-dont-get-enough-sleep/
·        
Sitting
is the next smoking. Move often at work and home. Nowadays, we do not even move
to pick up our TV remotes. We have alexa for that.
·        
Set health and fitness goals (e.g., run a marathon;
 reach a certain cholesterol level or a
target weight).
·        
Can practice
vigorous walking, some calisthenics / aerobics
·        
Ensure that your exercise routine is not
one-dimensional but includes flexibility, strength training, and cardiovascular
endurance.
·        
Get a walking
or workout partner and start an exercise routine.
·        
Include vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fibre,
and lots of water in your diet.
·        
Nutrition –
most of us know what is right in this area, but the question is do we have the
willpower to do it. Do we have commitment? Is it important to us?
·        
Reduce stress by eliminating Quadrant III
activities – get out of the urgency trap.
·        
Stress –
common suggestions are meditation, via feedback, exercise and so forth.
·        
Covey says,
the greatest stress management ID is meaning, purpose, contribution, a life
that turns you on, work that turns you on, a cause that turns you on(Study Hans Selye work)
·        
Identify
your purpose or meaning, working on your purpose, contribution reduces your
stress a lot.
·        
Pick up the
phone, call your doctor, and make an appointment for a thorough physical
examination
·        
Plan a
spontaneous weekend “getaway.”
·        
Feeling better, looking
better

Mental:
We discussed this on EP-61 – கற்றது கைமண் அளவு –Mental Dimensions - Sharpen the Saw -
Habit-7 – Zero to Hero in 100 days
·        
Understanding
who you are and your strength is the biggest gift that you can give it to
yourself.
·        
Listen
to audio books while travelling/waiting areas. At least for 20 mins a day if
you are auditory person
·        
Read 4
pages of your interested topics
·        
Keep a journal. Your journal can become your
space for working out problems.
·        
Read voraiciously. And if you don’t
understand that word…. Well, our
point exactly.
·        
Get back to
reading, give yourself the challenge of a book a month, then a book a week,
then learn to read conceptually and rapidly and you can go through many books
very rapidly and get the gist of it
·        
Collect quotations. The sentiments of great
people stimulate the mind.
·        
Go to your
favourite bookstore or library and spend an hour reading something fun.
·        
Read one of
the classic that inspired Stephen R. Covey’s thinking, such as Man’s Search for
Meaning, by Viktor Frankl, or The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, by Ben
himself.
·        
Continue your education. Train your mind to
stand apart and examine its own paradigm.
·        
Taking
classes at the university, correspondence courses coming to seminar days like
this anything to keep your mind vital, active and alert (Keep yourself agile)
·        
Sign up for a
class to learn that skill you’ve always wanted to learn.
·        
Join Reading
groups, discussion groups, study groups
·        
Develop a hobby. It allows you to do something
you love doing.
·        
Practice
forgiveness at least one person a day
·        
Be
kinder than necessary.

Relationships (Social/Emotional) - Social is a relationship with
others, emotional is relationship with ourselves.
We discussed this on EP-63 – உறவுகள் மேம்பட The Social /
Emotional Dimension - Sharpen the Saw - Habit-7 – Zero to Hero
·        
Have
family rituals like having one time meal with all family members without any
gadgets. I see the recent Amir Khan commercial emphasize the same.
·        
After Facebook
and social media, we are getting connected digitally online, however a lot of
reports showing that we are feeling void inside. Please disconnect to connect
genuinely. Have 3 good friend or relationships to whom you have a deeper
connection.
·        
Keep your relationships in constant repair
through continual deposits to the Emotional Bank Account.
·        
Practice Empathic Listening regularly with the
people who are important to you.
·        
Forgive yourself and others who may have hurt
you.
·        
Build family relationships – both immediate and
extended.
·        
One of the most powerful action steps you can take
after today is to begin the process of rebuilding a broken relationship you
care about
·        
Particularly reach out to touch the one that tests
you the most.
·        
Rebuild the
one relationship you care enormously about but which is strained which has been
wounded
·        
It is more noble to give yourself completely to one
individual, than to labour diligently for the salvation of the masses – Dag
Hammarskold
·        
Value the differences in others and look for
opportunities to Synergize.
·        
Widen your circle of friends.
·        
Be patient.
·        
It won’t
happen overnight.
·        
You may need
to apologize.
·        
You may need
to forgive and forget.
·        
to cultivate
that relationship, to think win-win to empathically listen
·        
Choose to put
first things first. Search for a win-win in every situation. Learn to stop and
listen to others first, listen with your heart, value differences, look at
differences as the springboard to finding the third alternative.
·        
Plan a
special outing with someone who doesn’t usually get your attention.
·        
Let go of a
long-standing grudge. Talk with the other person or write a letter.
·        
Let go of the damaging competitive feelings you
may have toward others.
·        
Take your
child to a Saturday matinee.
·        
Surprise
someone with a special dinner.
·        
Call a friend
or relative you haven’t talked to in years.
·        
Write a note
to someone special, someone you haven’t had contact with for a long time. Tell
that person how much he or she has influenced you and why you feel such
appreciation.

Spiritual:-
We discussed this on EP-62 – உள்ளத்தில் நல்ல உள்ளம் – The Spiritual Dimensions - Sharpen the
Saw - Zero to Hero 100 days https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8NQS2MgYrM
·        
Practice
Mindfulness on all activities.
·        
Meditate
or sit silently for 20 mins a day. You can start with 10 mins
·        
Create, review, and refine your Personal Mission
Statement.
·        
Review your
Personal Mission Statement. Identify those areas in which you need to spend
time “sharpening the saw” in order to achieve your mission. Choose your big
rocks for this week to Sharpen the Saw in those areas.
·        
Watch, listen, and enjoy the world of nature.
·        
Read inspirational literature, in particular
biographies of people who inspire you.
·        
Commit to a life of total integrity to your
priorities.
·        
Listen to inspirational, uplifting music.
·        
Commit to serve in your community. Give of your
time, money, and self.
·        
Practice spiritual worship that
edifies/enlightens.
·        
Try to live
by your conscience day in and day out to be courageous in the hard moments
·        
Sign up for a
yoga class.
·        
Take a nature
walk. Take time to appreciate what you find along the way.
·        
Write a
gratitude journal. Write one thing every day.

Conclusion:-
Days becomes weeks, weeks becomes month, months becomes a
year. Instead of resolutions, I want to have mission statement, plan my week
and plan my daily activities.
Here are my resolutions for 2020 which I
want to incorporate in my daily/weekly plans
·        
Exercise
walking for 20 mins with my wife
·        
Meditate
for 20 mins a day
·        
Be
impeccable in relationship
·        
Have a
deep conversation with each family members once a week
·        
Don’t
procrastinate
·        
Listen
to your intuition
·        
Being
introvert, I don’t express myself very clearly. Articulate yourself very
clearly to avoid misunderstanding
·        
Have a
Daily plan (5 mins a day)
·        
Follow
weekly plan (20 mins per week)
·        
Keep
refining the mission statement once a month.
·        
Follow
servant leadership
·        
Volunteer
and contribute more
·        
Take
life skill coaching to a common people, coach 20 people in a year.
·        
Complete
AWS certification
·        
Register
for Degree course in Psychology.
·        
Follow
Holy Hour
·        
Getup
early regularly at 4:30am

Exercise: Identify 20 things that you want to achieve in 2020.

One of the most important things you
can do is to share your resolutions with others with your family with your
friends and associates. Make it public.
Don't try to change everything all at
once. Listen with your heart. Determine those things that are most important
for you to work on right now. Remember don't give up be patient The Hero/Heroine
/ strong character is not developed overnight.
Once again, wish you all a very Happy
New Year 2020.

Articles:-
General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS) - Theory of Stress - Hans
Selye
Psychology Topics > Stress
Reader’s digest
article :: This year, instead of making resolutions, I want to …


Quotes to ponder upon:-
Everything
we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the
truth.
You have
power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find
strength.
The universe
is change; our life is what our thoughts make it. - Marcus Aurelius

“I’m going
to be meeting with people today who talk too much – people who are selfish,
egotistical, ungrateful. But I won’t be surprised or disturbed, for I can’t
imagine a world without such people.” - Marcus Aurelius

A long, healthy, and happy life is
the result of making contributions, of having meaningful projects that are
personally exciting and contribute to and bless the lives of others. - Stephen
R. Covey
“We all have a moral obligation to
the people who are important in our lives, as well as to ourselves, to learn
and progress without ceasing.” - Stephen Covey
“Great minds have taught ‘know
thyself,’ ‘control thyself,’ and ‘give thyself,’ and I would emphasize that
there is power in that sequence.” - Stephen Covey
“Selfishness is the source of our
heaviest burdens in life, while serving others—lightening the burdens of
others—is the very essence of primary greatness. Secondary greatness has nothing
to do with service.” - Stephen Covey
One of the biggest things I’ve
learned is that I don’t have to always be right. – Jeffrey B. Swartz
A long,
healthy, and happy life is the result of making contributions, of having
meaningful projects that are personally exciting and contribute to and bless
the lives of others – Hans Selye

It
is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual, than to labour
diligently for the salvation of the masses – Dag Hammarskold

Videos:-
Luke Coutinho
shares his 3 tips for everyone to live better at Wellness Carnival (Watch this
without FAIL) – Emphasis importance of SLEEP.

Daily Private Victory- A Video From The 7
Habits of Highly Effective People

Ø 
Sharpening
the saw each day in each of the four dimensions is called the Daily Private Victory.
Weekly
Planning- A Video from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

EP-60 – உடலே உன்னை ஆராதிக்கிறேன் – Physical Dimensions - Sharpen the Saw –
Zero to Hero in 100 Days - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTZP2avMhlY

EP-61 – கற்றது கைமண் அளவு –Mental Dimensions - Sharpen the Saw -
Habit-7 – Zero to Hero in 100 days - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Zb0RrX8CQ

EP-62 – உள்ளத்தில்
நல்ல உள்ளம் – The Spiritual Dimensions - Sharpen the
Saw - Zero to Hero 100 days - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8NQS2MgYrM

EP-63 – உறவுகள் மேம்பட The Social /
Emotional Dimension - Sharpen the Saw - Habit-7 – Zero to Hero -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zfm17GPnPU


About me:-
EP-0 - Who am I? - Rajesh Narayanan
If you do not know me personally, you can check out this
video