EP-65 – ஆறுவது சினம் – Tips for Anger Management - Zero to Hero 100 days Personal Transformation Journey

Complete
transcripts of the speech are given here in YouTube Description.

EP-65 – ஆறுவது சினம்
– Tips for Anger Management - Zero to Hero 100 days Personal Transformation
Journey

We are in
Episode 65.

இந்த YouTube channel லை வாழ வைக்கும் தெய்வங்களாகிய எல்லா
ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும், ஹீரோக்களுக்கும்
வணக்கம்.

As we have
completed all the 7 Habits of Stephen Covey, I want to address other best
behaviours, habits, simplifying tools, good books and resources.

This is the topic
we have not touched so far. Today’s topic is Ovvaiyar’s ஆறுவது சினம்.

Let us take
our Anger and Anger Management.

I made many
mistakes in my personal and professional life due to outburst of Anger. I lost
few close relationship as well.

In the
outburst of Anger, I sent email which I repent later. We all react in sudden
outburst and anger.

Basis for Anger

·        
Anger
is internal disease

·        
We are
all accustomed to Anger.

·        
Things
that provoke Anger are : Our expectation / desire did not meet, or a particular
person can provoke anger or any particular thing.

·        
Generally
Anger comes, When there is a gap between expectation and reality.

·        
If we
are in an inferior or hopeless situation, we tend to get anger.

·        
Anger
comes if we are right in our stand.

·        
Anger
comes if the other person did not appreciate

·        
Anger
comes if we are taken for granted.

·        
Anger
creates a lot of Health issues – starting from BP to not having peace of mind.
It can affect our jobs, prosperity, friendship, social circle. It takes away a
lot of our energies.

·        
Increases
segregation of stress hormones like Cortisol

·        
We
generally have more expectation on people to whom we have more rights. That is
the reason, we get anger with our loved ones.

Buddha says, Anger
is like taking hot charcoal in your hand and throwing it on the other person.
It basically hurts us first before throwing it.

Ways to overcome or control
anger

·        
Please
give 30 sec gap before reacting (a way of responding)

·        
Take
fewer deep breaths (which increases oxygen flow to mind)

·        
Get out
of the place if you are getting angry so that you can respond later.

·        
We are
very smart. Generally we do not show our anger to our high officials. We show
our anger on loved ones or same peer group or inferior folks.

·        
We need
to retrospect and do regular exercise to get out of Anger

·        
Need a
lot of self-awareness and self-control

·        
One way
to address is by realizing that no one is superior to me, no one is inferior to
me. Treat everyone equally.

·        
Instead
of focussing on short comings of a person, you can always look on positive
thing in person

·        
We can
apply Pareto rule 80/20. 80% of anger comes from 20% of people

·        
Focus
on the 20.

·        
Most of
our major anger will be on the 4 to 5 person in our inner circle. If we take
one at a time, we will slowly practice a best anger management over a period of
time.

·        
Don’t react
in a hasty way when you are in Angered state.

·        
Patience
and forgiveness are the best tool

·        
Anger
management exercise. Please prepare a list in the following table. And take one
person at a time and follow to respond for a week.

S.N	Person to whom we get Anger	Your relationship with that person	Basis for getting Anger	My role and responsibility in Anger	Previous Experience if any	Resolution plan
	Spouse
	Teenage daughter
	In-laws
	Sibling

 Exercise: Take one
person and try to follow responding rather than reacting. Please add your anger
management strategies in the comment section.

Tagline for today:
ஆறுவது சினம்

Conclusion:-

It takes 30 years to build a relationship, 30 sec to break
it. Let us not break our relationship due to Anger. Let us master the art of
anger management to shine as Heroes and Heroines.

Quotes:-

It takes 30 years to build a relationship, 30 sec to break
it.

Buddha says, Anger
is like taking hot charcoal in your hand and throwing it on the other person.
It basically hurts us first before throwing it.

About me:-

EP-0 - Who am I? - Rajesh Narayanan

If you do not know me personally, you can check out this
video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiuvvMarwOE