We are in
Episode 80.
Episode 80.
இந்த YouTube channel லை வாழ வைக்கும் தெய்வங்களாகிய எல்லா
ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும், ஹீரோக்களுக்கும்
வணக்கம்.
ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும், ஹீரோக்களுக்கும்
வணக்கம்.
As we have
completed all the 7 Habits of Stephen Covey, I want take up “Greatness Series” to
address other best behaviours, habits, simplifying tools, good books, Videos,
TED Talks and resources.
completed all the 7 Habits of Stephen Covey, I want take up “Greatness Series” to
address other best behaviours, habits, simplifying tools, good books, Videos,
TED Talks and resources.
Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You
This section was
included in the original 1936 edition as a single page list, which preceded the
main content of the book, showing a prospective reader what to expect from it.
The 1981 edition omits points 6 to 8, and 11.
included in the original 1936 edition as a single page list, which preceded the
main content of the book, showing a prospective reader what to expect from it.
The 1981 edition omits points 6 to 8, and 11.
1.
Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new
visions, new ambitions.
Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new
visions, new ambitions.
2.
Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
3.
Increase your popularity.
Increase your popularity.
4.
Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
5.
Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to
get things done.
Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to
get things done.
6.
Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
7.
Increase your earning power.
Increase your earning power.
8.
Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
9.
Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your
human contacts smooth and pleasant.
Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your
human contacts smooth and pleasant.
10.
Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining
conversationalist.
Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining
conversationalist.
11.
Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in
your daily contacts.
Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in
your daily contacts.
12.
Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
The book has six major sections. The core principles of
each section are explained and quoted from below.[4]
each section are explained and quoted from below.[4]
Fundamental Techniques in
Handling People
1.
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human
nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated,
they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their
critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain
because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human
nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated,
they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their
critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain
because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
2.
Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation
is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at
their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out
their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere,
meaningful and with love.
Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation
is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at
their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out
their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere,
meaningful and with love.
3.
Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get
what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin
to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires
with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve
our objectives.
Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get
what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin
to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires
with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve
our objectives.
Six Ways to Make People
Like You
1.
Become genuinely interested in other people. "You
can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two
years by making them interested in you."[5]:52 The
only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely
interested in them and their interests.
Become genuinely interested in other people. "You
can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two
years by making them interested in you."[5]:52 The
only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely
interested in them and their interests.
2.
Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances,
but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability
to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances,
but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability
to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
3.
Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the
sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The
average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names
in the world put together."[5]:73 People
love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money
just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel
extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the
sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The
average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names
in the world put together."[5]:73 People
love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money
just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel
extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
4.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about
themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to
become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what
people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation
partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about
themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to
become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what
people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation
partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
5.
Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The
royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures
most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel
valued and value us in return.
Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The
royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures
most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel
valued and value us in return.
6.
Make the other person feel important – and do it
sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like
to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will
talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make
people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all
the friends we could ever dream of.
Make the other person feel important – and do it
sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like
to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will
talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make
people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all
the friends we could ever dream of.
Twelve Ways to Win People
to Your Way of Thinking
1.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid
it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or
lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated
or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try
to avoid arguments whenever we can.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid
it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or
lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated
or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try
to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say
"You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are
wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes
to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say
"You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are
wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes
to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
3.
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever
we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough,
but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are
wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever
we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough,
but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are
wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
4.
Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey
can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[5]:143 If we
begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more
receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence
people to our way of thinking.
Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey
can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[5]:143 If we
begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more
receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence
people to our way of thinking.
5.
Start with questions to which the other person will answer
yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and
the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the
things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction
and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but
rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will
answer "yes" to.
Start with questions to which the other person will answer
yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and
the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the
things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction
and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but
rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will
answer "yes" to.
6.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People
do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let
them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to
them in their own mouth.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People
do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let
them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to
them in their own mouth.
7.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People
inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are
handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others
to think they arrived at it themselves.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People
inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are
handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others
to think they arrived at it themselves.
8.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point
of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn
them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires
a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point
of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn
them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires
a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People
are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and
feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well
and will often come around to our way of thinking.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People
are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and
feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well
and will often come around to our way of thinking.
10.
Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone
likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for
noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we
can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone
likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for
noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we
can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
11.
Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced
world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid,
interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes
ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced
world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid,
interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes
ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
12.
Throw down a challenge. The thing that most
motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth.
If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will
often rise to meet it.
Throw down a challenge. The thing that most
motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth.
If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will
often rise to meet it.
Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. People
will do things begrudgingly for criticism and an iron-fisted leader, but they
will work wonders when they are praised and appreciated.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. People
will do things begrudgingly for criticism and an iron-fisted leader, but they
will work wonders when they are praised and appreciated.
2.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. No one
likes to make mistakes, especially in front of others. Scolding and blaming
only serve to humiliate. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they
will appreciate us and be more likely to improve.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. No one
likes to make mistakes, especially in front of others. Scolding and blaming
only serve to humiliate. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they
will appreciate us and be more likely to improve.
3.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other
person. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help
win others to your side. People do not like to shoulder all the blame and
taking credit for mistakes helps to remove the sting from our critiques of
others.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other
person. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help
win others to your side. People do not like to shoulder all the blame and
taking credit for mistakes helps to remove the sting from our critiques of
others.
4.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one
likes to take orders. If we offer suggestions, rather than orders, it will
boost others' confidence and allow them to learn quickly from their mistakes.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one
likes to take orders. If we offer suggestions, rather than orders, it will
boost others' confidence and allow them to learn quickly from their mistakes.
5.
Let the other person save face. Nothing
diminishes the dignity of a man quite like an insult to his pride. If we don't
condemn our employees in front of others and allow them to save face, they will
be motivated to do better in the future and confident that they can.
Let the other person save face. Nothing
diminishes the dignity of a man quite like an insult to his pride. If we don't
condemn our employees in front of others and allow them to save face, they will
be motivated to do better in the future and confident that they can.
6.
Praise every improvement. People
love to receive praise and admiration. If we truly want someone to improve at
something, we must praise their every advance. "Abilities wither under
criticism, they blossom under encouragement."[6]
Praise every improvement. People
love to receive praise and admiration. If we truly want someone to improve at
something, we must praise their every advance. "Abilities wither under
criticism, they blossom under encouragement."[6]
7.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. If we
give people a great reputation to live up to, they will desire to embody the
characteristics with which we have described them. People will work with vigor
and confidence if they believe they can be better.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. If we
give people a great reputation to live up to, they will desire to embody the
characteristics with which we have described them. People will work with vigor
and confidence if they believe they can be better.
8.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If a
desired outcome seems like a momentous task, people will give up and lose
heart. But if a fault seems easy to correct, they will readily jump at the
opportunity to improve. If we frame objectives as small and easy improvements,
we will see dramatic increases in desire and success in our employees.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If a
desired outcome seems like a momentous task, people will give up and lose
heart. But if a fault seems easy to correct, they will readily jump at the
opportunity to improve. If we frame objectives as small and easy improvements,
we will see dramatic increases in desire and success in our employees.
9.
Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. People
will most often respond well when they desire to do the behavior put forth. If
we want to influence people and become effective leaders, we must learn to
frame our desires in terms of others' desires.
Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. People
will most often respond well when they desire to do the behavior put forth. If
we want to influence people and become effective leaders, we must learn to
frame our desires in terms of others' desires.
Letters That Produced
Miraculous Results
This section was
included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised 1981
edition.
included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised 1981
edition.
In this chapter, the shortest in
the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone
with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for
something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient
of the request.
the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone
with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for
something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient
of the request.
Seven Rules For Making Your
Home Life Happier
This
section was included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised
1981 edition.
section was included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised
1981 edition.
1.
Don't nag.
Don't nag.
2.
Don't try to make your partner over.
Don't try to make your partner over.
3.
Don't criticize.
Don't criticize.
4.
Give honest appreciation.
Give honest appreciation.
5.
Pay little attentions.
Pay little attentions.
6.
Be courteous.
Be courteous.
7.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
Exercise: Take top
3 things that resonates with you and start living with those practices in daily
life.
3 things that resonates with you and start living with those practices in daily
life.
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