SPA - Spread Positive Awareness: EP-38 – Believing in Win-Win – Think Win-Win (Habit 4)

எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.

Theme for the week (from
today till next Friday (15^th Nov)) – Think Win-Win (Courtesy:
Stephen Covey).

We are going to
talk about Habit 4 – Think Win-Win in this week. The foundation of habit 4 is
habit 1,2 and 3. If you have strong foundation in private victory, then Habit 4
becomes effortless.

However, it is the
toughest one to practice.

It was September 5^th
Teacher’s day. I met a teacher on that day. She narrated her school incidents.

A little intro
about the teacher, she completed her education from Church Park in India.
Bharathi says சுந்தர தமிழில் பாட்டு இசைத்து
மாதிரி, similar to that English
is her forte. She also worked a Principal in a well renowned reputed institute
in Coimbatore.

Though she was a
principal in the school that she ran, she took English classes for student as
she was very passionate about English. English is her உயிர் மூச்சு.

On one particular
day, she taught pronunciation of “EPITOME” to her students. After a few minutes
one of the girls student hesitantly raised her hands and asked whether it is
Epitome or Epitome (/ɪˈpɪtəmi, ɛˈpɪtəmi/). Basically there is a difference in
pronunciation.

This teacher
thought for a moment. She said, she would check and come back in the next
class.

I want to side step
to Stephen covey’s Habit 4 – Think WIN-WIN here.

A person or
organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three
vital character traits:

·
Integrity:
sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments

·
Maturity:
expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas
and feelings of others

·
Abundance
Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Six Paradigms of Human interaction

1. WIN-WIN:
“Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”

People who
choose to win and make sure others also win practice win-win. They search for
solutions that will make them happy and simultaneously satisfy others

Characteristics

·
Seeks mutual
benefit

·
Is
cooperative, not competitive

·
Listens more,
stays in communication longer, and communicates with more courage.

2. WIN-LOSE: “I’m going to beat you no matter what” [Walmart strategy]

People with a
win-lose paradigm are concerned with themselves first and last. They want to
win and they want others to lose. They achieve success at the expense or
exclusion of another’s success. They are driven by comparison, competition,
position, and power.

Characteristics

·
Is very common scripting for most people.

·
Is the
authoritarian approach

·
Uses
position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get the “win”.

3. LOSE-WIN: “I
always get stepped on”

People who
choose to lose and let others win show high consideration, but lack the courage
to express and act on their feelings and beliefs. They are easily intimidated
and borrow strength from acceptance and popularity.

Characteristics

·
Voices no
standards, no demands, and no expectations of anyone else.

·
Is quick to
please or appease.

·
Buries a lot
of feelings.

4. LOSE-LOSE:
“If I’m going down, you’re going down with me” – Worst form

(Divorce sells for cheap price)

People who have
a lose-lose paradigm are low on courage and consideration. They envy and
criticize others. They put themselves and others down.

Characteristics

·
Is the
mind-set of a highly dependent person.

·
Is a “no win”
because nobody benefits.

·
Is a
long-term result of win-lose or “win.”

5. WIN: “As long
as I win, I don’t care if you win or lose”

People who
hold a “win” paradigm think only of getting what they want. Although they don’t
necessarily want others to lose, they are personally set on winning. They think
independently in interdependent situations, without sensitivity or awareness of
others. Characteristics

·
Is
self-centered.

·
Thinks
“me-first.”

·
Doesn’t
really care if the other person wins or loses.

6. WIN-WIN or NO
DEAL: “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us, or let’s not play.”

Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form of win-win. People who adopt this paradigm seek first win-win. If
they cannot find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree agreeably. Characteristics

·
Allows each
party to say no.

·
Is the most
realistic at the beginning of a relationship or business deal.

·
Is the
highest form of win-win.

·
No Deal We agree to disagree agreeably.

Teacher referred
the dictionary. Her student was right. She had many choices in front of her..

Ignore the whole
incident in the class: Lose Lose approach

Scolded the student
by using her power: Win-Lose approach

Appreciate the
student in front of the class: Lose: Win approach.

My teacher was a
wise lady. She more matured and followed abundance mind-set.

She called the
student in front of the class. She agreed that her pronunciation was the right
one. She apologised. She took that opportunity to instil courage in students.
She appreciated the courageous behaviour of that girl and she instilled the
courageous attitude not only to that one girl and to whole class.

Habit 4 Think Win-Win brings

·
Quality
relationships

·
Synergistic
solutions

·
Consensus

·
Dynamic happens that is absolutely
magical in its effect upon the human spirit

Quote of the day : One of the biggest
things I’ve learned is that I don’t have to always be right. – Jeffrey B.
Swartz