EP-44 – Rajni Vs Kamal / Ajith Vs Vijay - Seek First to Understand, Then...

எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.



I keep Steven covey as a general theme. Individual episode can be viewed separately for any new corner. Common Theme for the week (til today (22nd Nov)) - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).



Ajith vs Vijay



In our office, there is one guy. His name is Aravind. He is a big Vijay fan.



One side says, Vijay is the best hero and other side argues their hero is the best.  This goes on and on, it is a near ending story..



We always have this conversation in our lunch table or tea time. This conversation heightens during festival. I listen to these arguments for ages.



Do you need anything common here?



Both parties do not understand each other. They do not want to understand each other views. They just express their viewpoints very strongly, emotionally and violently at times. They snub other parties so on and so forth.



It is not happening in the coffee table discussion, it goes on in professional discussion like Manager/Sub-ordinate, Client/Sales person and it goes at the personal level – Husband and wife discussion, Parent vs Teenager discussion.



They talk with intent to reply or influence the other person and sell their view points. They do not talk with intent to listen. That is what Habit 5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.



Paradigm:

Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply(in some way to Influence, to accomplish their own end)

Effective: I listen with the intent to understand (Emphatic listening).



Lesson’s learnt:

If you start listening, you may be influenced, you will be in the vulnerable state.

Your self confidence, confidence, your security comes from integrity to principles not from being right. You are not intimidated.



• They become vulnerable themselves

• Their own need to be right



Priniciple:

To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other.



Behaviour

• Diagnose Before You Prescribe.

• Listen emphatically.

• Seek to be understood from the other’s perspective.



Result:

• Greater influence with others

• Solutions to complex problems

• Clarity on real issues

• Faster problem solving



Exercise for today:-

1. List to Habit 5 video whole episode



Reference:-

Theme for the week: Think Win-Win – Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.

(Start Date 16th Nov, End date 22nd Nov – Saturday to Friday)



Today’s Videos:-

Week’s Video for quick reference.



Articles:-



HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-5.html



Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey



EP-0 - Who am I? - Rajesh Narayanan

If you do not know me personally, you can check out this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiuvvMarwOE