எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின் களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
I keep Steven covey as a general theme. Individual episode can be viewed separately for any new corner. Common Theme for the week (til today (22nd Nov)) - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).
We all like movies. How many of you see the Virumaandi Movie. This is my personal favourite that related to today’s topic. First seek to understand, then to be understood.
They show the movie from Kamal’s angle and they show the same sequence of scene from Pasupathi’s angle. As the audience, we try to see both sides very clearly. We empathise for both in the movie.
That is a movie. Reel life is different than real life. Most of the occasions, we do not listen to other person’s view / perspective. Before even we diagnose the issue, we tend to give solutions to the problem. That is the valuable lesson that I learnt from the movie.
Courtesy: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Signature Program
Paradigm:
Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply(in some way to Influence, to accomplish their own end)
Effective: I listen with the intent to understand (Emphatic listening).
Lesson’s learnt:
If you start listening you may be influenced, be in the vulnerable state.
Your self confidence, confidence, your security comes from integrity to principles not from being right
• They become vulnerable themselves
• Their own need to be right
Priniciple:
To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other.
Behaviour
• Diagnose Before You Prescribe.
• Listen emphatically.
• Seek to be understood from the other’s perspective.
Result:
• Greater influence with others
• Solutions to complex problems
• Clarity on real issues
• Faster problem solving
Diagnose before you prescribe
-------------------------------------------------
Similar to Doctor’s, Most people don’t take the necessary time and effort to properly diagnose the symptoms before prescribing solutions. They immediately assume they understand someone else’s condition and quickly offer their own advice. We do not spend time in listening the other person’s view.
Exercise for today:-
1. Describe a time when someone didn’t listen to you before prescribing an answer.
___________________________________________________________________________
2. How did you feel?
___________________________________________________________________________
3. When do you most often fail to listen to others?
___________________________________________________________________________
4. What gets in the way of listening effectively?
___________________________________________________________________________
Lessons learnt from the Yesterday’s video:-
Part A – Diagnose Before You Prescribe
Problem solving process / discovery process (lawyer)
• To understand proceeds action
• To understand proceeds judgement
• Amateur sales person do “sell products” and professional sales person sells solutions.
Please watch today’s video. Just 2 mins video which we have in husband/wife conversation.
Please watch it without fail. Husband try to fix things (most of the times), then in one point, he listens, then appreciate him. Just 2 mins video and has a powerful message.
Tips:- Use Talking Stick while having one to one discussion either in personal or professional setting. This can be used in our daily conversation with our spouses, teenage daughters/sons, brothers/sisters or with our mom. This can be used in our team meeting as well.
When someone holds the talking stick, everyone else listens fully without interrupting. Then the other person takes the talking stick talks, and everyone else listens fully.
I can correlate this to Tamil Proverb. கண்ணால் காண்பதும் பொய் காதால் கேட்ப்பதும் பொய் தீர விசாரிப்பதே மெய்
All of us march towards தீர விசாரிப்பதே(Deeper understanding) and towards மெய்.
Quote for the day:
One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider our problem, can change our whole outlook on the world.
- Dr. Elton Mayo
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Think Win-Win – Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date 16th Nov, End date 22nd Nov – Saturday to Friday)
Today’s Videos(Must watch for every Husband/wife or every person:-
Video: It's Not About the Nail - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
"Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.
Articles:-
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-5.html
Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
EP-0 - Who am I? - Rajesh Narayanan
If you do not know me personally, you can check out this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiuvvMarwOE
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