எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின்
களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
Theme for the week (from today till next
Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy: Stephen
Covey).
Friday (8th Nov)) - Private Victory to Public Victory (Courtesy: Stephen
Covey).
We have seen some hero moments so far. For a
change, I want to talk about my zero moments which are related to the topics.
change, I want to talk about my zero moments which are related to the topics.
It was 15th July 2019, this year.
It was my wedding day. Unfortunately my company has nominated me for Leadership
training. Trainer was my coach who was supposed to be come from Hong Kong. It
was an excellent opportunity as I might not get the same training in the
future.
It was my wedding day. Unfortunately my company has nominated me for Leadership
training. Trainer was my coach who was supposed to be come from Hong Kong. It
was an excellent opportunity as I might not get the same training in the
future.
I explained the whole thing and got the
buy-in from my wife. We both of us agreed to celebrate it on the following day
after the training got over. It was so far so good. My wife was very
understanding and supported me to attend the training. A good husband / coach
in me was in cloud nine.
buy-in from my wife. We both of us agreed to celebrate it on the following day
after the training got over. It was so far so good. My wife was very
understanding and supported me to attend the training. A good husband / coach
in me was in cloud nine.
To compensate for that, I wanted to buy a
flower for my wife. I planned everything and wanted to come home early for
dinner.
flower for my wife. I planned everything and wanted to come home early for
dinner.
Turn of events happened and went dinner with
my coach. I came home at 9:45pm. As soon as I saw my wife, I realized that I
did not buy the flower for her which I planned in the morning. Immediately I
rushed out from the house. My wife was about to say something and I did not
listen.
my coach. I came home at 9:45pm. As soon as I saw my wife, I realized that I
did not buy the flower for her which I planned in the morning. Immediately I
rushed out from the house. My wife was about to say something and I did not
listen.
I took my bike as if Ajith in “Neerkonda
Parvai” movie. I rushed to Pondy bazaar to buy some flower. My aim was to give
flower to her before 12 midnight. I did not get any flower in Pondy Bazaar as
they had closed the shop. Feeling disappointed, I searched for 24 hour florist
and bought one in Mount road and came back at 11:45pm. I was flying high as I
was able to reach home before 12 midnight.
Parvai” movie. I rushed to Pondy bazaar to buy some flower. My aim was to give
flower to her before 12 midnight. I did not get any flower in Pondy Bazaar as
they had closed the shop. Feeling disappointed, I searched for 24 hour florist
and bought one in Mount road and came back at 11:45pm. I was flying high as I
was able to reach home before 12 midnight.
By the time I came home, my wife waited and
waited slept completely. That day, I did not know what to do.
waited slept completely. That day, I did not know what to do.
How many of you were in a similar situation
like me?
like me?
Let me briefly tell another incident of my
friend, he saw a FB notification and wished “Happy Birthday to the person”
without even realizing that it was his wife’s.
friend, he saw a FB notification and wished “Happy Birthday to the person”
without even realizing that it was his wife’s.
How many of you were in a similar situation
like me?
like me?
Did I make a deposit or withdrawal in her
emotional bank account? How many of you have done similar withdrawals with your
spouse. In the busyness of our life, we forgot to make deposits in EBA and do
more withdrawals.
emotional bank account? How many of you have done similar withdrawals with your
spouse. In the busyness of our life, we forgot to make deposits in EBA and do
more withdrawals.
What is
emotional bank account?
emotional bank account?
The
Emotional Bank Account is the production capability side of human
relationships, human interaction.
Emotional Bank Account is the production capability side of human
relationships, human interaction.
An emotional
bank account is an account of trust instead of money. It's
an account based on how safe you feel with another person.
bank account is an account of trust instead of money. It's
an account based on how safe you feel with another person.
Let us talk
on Covey’s remaining three ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):
on Covey’s remaining three ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):
Your
Emotional Bank Account By M.J. Clark, M.A., APR
Emotional Bank Account By M.J. Clark, M.A., APR
4) Attending
to the Little Things.
to the Little Things.
·
Don’t you find that the little things tend to
become the BIG things when they do not receive our attention?
Don’t you find that the little things tend to
become the BIG things when they do not receive our attention?
·
Doing the little things is how we honor and show
respect for others.
Doing the little things is how we honor and show
respect for others.
·
Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra
effort, a hug, doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that
build trust.
Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra
effort, a hug, doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that
build trust.
Let me give a sneak preview of some
of future episode that I have in my mind. John Gray wrote a famous book “Men
are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. Men always think big rewards whereas
women give each and every reward with same points whether it is big reward or
smaller reward. Eg., She gives 1 point for Andaman trip and same 1 point if you
buy flowers from Pondy bazaar. Men like me, please choose gifts in little
things.
of future episode that I have in my mind. John Gray wrote a famous book “Men
are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. Men always think big rewards whereas
women give each and every reward with same points whether it is big reward or
smaller reward. Eg., She gives 1 point for Andaman trip and same 1 point if you
buy flowers from Pondy bazaar. Men like me, please choose gifts in little
things.
5) Showing
Personal Integrity. Integrity is the moral floor upon which trusting
relationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes
it so easy for others to trust us.
Personal Integrity. Integrity is the moral floor upon which trusting
relationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes
it so easy for others to trust us.
6)
Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal. We will make mistakes; it’s part of
life. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how
we make a deposit to counteract the damage we have done.
Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal. We will make mistakes; it’s part of
life. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how
we make a deposit to counteract the damage we have done.
For a strong
EBA, remember:
EBA, remember:
·
The 5:1 rule: It may take five deposits to make
up for one withdrawal.
The 5:1 rule: It may take five deposits to make
up for one withdrawal.
·
The other person’s “currency”: What constitutes
a deposit to one person may be a withdrawal to another.
The other person’s “currency”: What constitutes
a deposit to one person may be a withdrawal to another.
·
To be sincere and consistency in your deposits. Small
deposits over time build large account balances (சிறு
துளி பல வெள்ளம்).
To be sincere and consistency in your deposits. Small
deposits over time build large account balances (சிறு
துளி பல வெள்ளம்).
Building
your EBA
your EBA
1.
Identify an important relationship. What is your
Emotional Bank Account balance with this person (on a scale of -10 to +10)?
Identify an important relationship. What is your
Emotional Bank Account balance with this person (on a scale of -10 to +10)?
2.
Describe three things you think the person you
identified would consider deposits.
Describe three things you think the person you
identified would consider deposits.
3.
Describe three things you think the person you
identified would consider withdrawals.
Describe three things you think the person you
identified would consider withdrawals.
The
Emotional Bank Account applies not only to personal relationships, but also to
business relationships with customers, suppliers, stakeholders, etc.
Emotional Bank Account applies not only to personal relationships, but also to
business relationships with customers, suppliers, stakeholders, etc.
Let us have contest. Please post your EBA
net score in the FB page of Zero to Hero. Top 3 folks will get the existing
prizes in the 100th day.
net score in the FB page of Zero to Hero. Top 3 folks will get the existing
prizes in the 100th day.
Either daily or weekly, please post your EBA
Net Score in the following FB page.
Net Score in the following FB page.
In the above incident, my wife taught me a
valuable lesson. Instead of apologizing openly and spending the remaining time
of the day with my wife which was deposit to her I roamed around the whole of
Chennai in the midnight similar to Murugan Perumal and made more and more
withdrawals in a single day. Similar to Vinayagar, I should have found my
deposits at home.
valuable lesson. Instead of apologizing openly and spending the remaining time
of the day with my wife which was deposit to her I roamed around the whole of
Chennai in the midnight similar to Murugan Perumal and made more and more
withdrawals in a single day. Similar to Vinayagar, I should have found my
deposits at home.
Even today, I make mistakes and want to make
sure I do not repeat my mistakes. She says all my sothappal in our wedding relationships;
I have potential to put 100 episodes in YouTube Channel.
sure I do not repeat my mistakes. She says all my sothappal in our wedding relationships;
I have potential to put 100 episodes in YouTube Channel.
Just want to share few tips regarding
emotional bank account from my personal experiences and my coaching experience.
emotional bank account from my personal experiences and my coaching experience.
·
Men
like me, please apologise if you made any mistakes. Instead of adding more and
more mistakes and more and more withdrawals.
Men
like me, please apologise if you made any mistakes. Instead of adding more and
more mistakes and more and more withdrawals.
·
I
thought, buying a flower was a deposit, it turned out to be a big blunder. It
was big withdrawal according to my wife. One person’s deposit can be viewed as
withdrawal for the other person.
I
thought, buying a flower was a deposit, it turned out to be a big blunder. It
was big withdrawal according to my wife. One person’s deposit can be viewed as
withdrawal for the other person.
·
Out of
365 days, just remember these two important days in life. It is a wonderful
time to make HUGE deposits in EBA.
Out of
365 days, just remember these two important days in life. It is a wonderful
time to make HUGE deposits in EBA.
·
We are
good at remembering Dharbar release date and Apple phone conference dates, Apple
phone release dates. Let us be more mindful in our approaches.
We are
good at remembering Dharbar release date and Apple phone conference dates, Apple
phone release dates. Let us be more mindful in our approaches.
·
Please
do not take your loved ones for granted. That is one of the big complaints that
I get from women friends.
Please
do not take your loved ones for granted. That is one of the big complaints that
I get from women friends.
·
Empathize
with them and understand the feelings. Do not think that they are blaming you
or complaining to you and do not take it personally.
Empathize
with them and understand the feelings. Do not think that they are blaming you
or complaining to you and do not take it personally.
·
Please
do not give any solutions to their problems. Just Listen.
Please
do not give any solutions to their problems. Just Listen.
·
Instead
of thinking like a master hero like me who was roaming for flower in the middle
of the night, be a class hero and talk openly to your wife after apologizing.
Instead
of thinking like a master hero like me who was roaming for flower in the middle
of the night, be a class hero and talk openly to your wife after apologizing.
Other 2 cents are for my women
counterparts:-
counterparts:-
·
Every man
in the industry goes through tremendous pressure due to competition, job loss
etc which they are not exhibiting very openly in their home. Most of the men do
not share their personal problem openly in the home environment. Create an open
environment to share this problem can be a good start.
Every man
in the industry goes through tremendous pressure due to competition, job loss
etc which they are not exhibiting very openly in their home. Most of the men do
not share their personal problem openly in the home environment. Create an open
environment to share this problem can be a good start.
·
If they
make any mistake, please forgive them and move on.
If they
make any mistake, please forgive them and move on.
21st century mantra is, there is
a women behind every successful men and there is a men behind every successful
men.
a women behind every successful men and there is a men behind every successful
men.
Things that
we buy in Great Indian festival, GRT or Saravana stores are not going to be
there in our 80th Birthday.
Let us take EBA in our hands. Have more deposits and less of withdrawal to form
a basis of marvellous relationship.
we buy in Great Indian festival, GRT or Saravana stores are not going to be
there in our 80th Birthday.
Let us take EBA in our hands. Have more deposits and less of withdrawal to form
a basis of marvellous relationship.
சின்ன சின்ன விட்டுக்கொடுத்தல்
சின்ன சின்ன புரிதல்கள்
தான் வாழ்க்கையின் சாராம்சம்
தான் வாழ்க்கையின் சாராம்சம்
விட்டு கொடுப்பவர்கள் கெட்டு
போவதில்லை
போவதில்லை
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Private Victory to
Public Victory –
Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
Public Victory –
Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date
02nd Nov, End date 8th Nov – Saturday to Friday)
02nd Nov, End date 8th Nov – Saturday to Friday)
Cheat sheets
– Emotional Bank Account:-
– Emotional Bank Account:-
12 The 7
Habits Foundational Principles Part L - Emotional Bank Account
Habits Foundational Principles Part L - Emotional Bank Account
13 The 7
Habits Foundational Principles Part M - Deposits & Withdrawals
Habits Foundational Principles Part M - Deposits & Withdrawals
Books: 7
Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrUTlHW1_lwHabits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
No comments:
Post a Comment