இந்த YouTube channel லை வாழ வைக்கும் தெய்வங்களாகிய எல்லா ஹீரோக்களுக்கும் ஹீரோயின்களுக்கும் வணக்கம்.
I keep Steven covey as a general theme. Individual episode can be viewed separately for any new comer to this channel. Common Theme for the week (til today (29th Nov)) - Synergize (Courtesy: Stephen Covey).
Synergize - The Habit of Creative Cooperation
Courtesy: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Signature Program
Paradigm:
Ineffective: It’s either your way or my way, or a compromise.
Effective: Together we can create a better way, a higher way (Illayara’s Orchestra or Bono / U2 Music Band).
Priniciple:
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Behaviour
• Value and celebrate the differences.
• Practice creative cooperation.
Result:
• Innovation and invention
• New and better solutions
• Transformed relationships
• Appreciation of diverse perspectives
Value and celebrate the differences
Today’s topic is value and celebrates the differences. I do not want to talk about this topic in the surface level. I want to dig deeper and deeper to our roots. What are our roots?
The following questions pop up in my mind.
• How are we learning to value and celebrate differences?
• Did we learn to value differences in our schools / formal education?
• Are we teaching to value differences our children?
Let me go back to my school days. I studied in a Govt school. We did this exercise religiously in my school days from class 1st. We collect money to buy a clay pot. And 2 persons were in charge for cleaning the pot and filling the water on a daily basis. It went on a rotational basis. If someone broke the pot, they had to buy the pot if they could afford or we had to pool in money. Even someone in my class pooled in money for their have not friends due to understanding the differences. Every one of us took care of our pot like a Golden pot even while we were crazily playing in the school. Whole class was responsible for maintaining the pot well.
In our class, it was a collection of haves and have not. We were uniform in our attires and other than that we were all different in our social, economic backgrounds, regional and cultural backgrounds. Unconsciously we learnt to value and celebrate differences in school.
I feel to value and celebrate differences were instilled in our schools.
Now we are in 21st century. Things have changed. My daughters even go to school with their Tupperware bottles. Most of them are getting educated in private schools wherein we are missing to value and celebrate differences as we did in government schools. One day I visited the school immediately after Diwali wherein they are allowed to wear colour dresses for a day, to me all children looks the same as they were wearing Diwali dresses of various multinational brand. I do not any difference in background, perspective and opinions as well similar to the saying Birds of the same feather flock together. I fear that, we are not educating our children to value and celebrate differences.
From the schools, if I move to our families. We have become nuclear families; even grandparents are becoming visiting professor or guest to our family. We are not only making Nano cars, our family are becoming Nano these days. We do not get opportunity to value and celebrate differences at home as well.
Whereas proverb says, to raise a children, we need a village says proverb.
Village is required to instil and value differences. Is not it true.
What do we do now?
If we dig deeper, of late People are often threatened by differences of opinion, perspective, or background.
Next thing that come to my mind is our Jana gana mana song. It shows how different we are and how we accommodate different languages, different cultures and different views. This is a basis of our culture and foundation. Covey is re-emphasizing this very strongly.
Let me go back to Covey
Today’s cheat sheet:-
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OjLKhGLh-lHdnmiCdLGq0dTXOBPl1DDi/view?usp=sharing
People are often threatened by differences of opinion, perspective, or background. Once you identify a common purpose, seek out and learn from differences. Highly effective people don’t just tolerate differences or accept them – they celebrate them.
Discuss a situation from your work or personal life in which valuing the differences produced greater results than what you could have produced otherwise.
1. What differences were valued?
___________________________________________________________________________
2. What did you say or do that showed you valued the differences?
___________________________________________________________________________
3. What did you learn from the experience?
___________________________________________________________________________
4. What effect did valuing the differences then have on the way you treat others now?
___________________________________________________________________________
Videos:-
39 Habit 6: Synergize - Part A: The Process of Synergizing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZG6q4-mZ4Y&list=PLBcoHkB-HjG-9fXnrU6uwnw1ZoGzoVEcB&index=38
Part A : The Process of Synergizing
Lessons learnt from the video:-
• It’s fruit of habit 4, fruit of habit 5
• When people begin to interact together genuinely and they are open to each other’s influence they begin to get new insight
• Something happens to them both
• It creates the possibility of Third Alternatives
• Not the either/or approach, not win lose, lose win, not compromise
• In other words, so much of the effort and energy is spent in the adversarial ism (confrontational / argumentative) in conflict and defensive and protective communication that literally it just wastes the energy of the enterprise of the marriage of the family
• Anyone who’s experienced sustained conflict and contention they know that very little productivity can come out
• So just remember those definitions :
• Synergy :- the whole is greater than the sum of the parts (1+1 = 3)
• Synergy means you can literally produce something that neither of you could have produced before and even adding what each can produce separately one plus one equally two is not synergy.
• Negative synergy where there is internal contention and adversarial ISM produces less than even what one person can usually produce on their own because so much of the energy is wasted going in the wrong direction and is counterproductive.
• Now the traditional paradigm is one of compromise that’s literally where most people think we end up realistically and it often is the case if you’re in low cross cultures.
• But compromise isn’t necessary if people will pay the price with habit four, five and six.
• The key habit six synergise in fact you could almost say the fundamental principle of six is to always value differences
• It’s not something you just accept that there are differences
• It’s not something that you tolerate
• It’s not something that is legislated through diversity programs
• It’s something that you celebrate I mean genuinely
• Strength lies in differences, not in similarities
• However if there is not a common purpose and a common set of principles a buy-in to these universal principles we’ve been talking about diversity differences can result in chaos and in negative synergy
• and it spawns prejudice, prejudgement
• and remember prejudice is a protection against being vulnerable if I get my security from my ability to manipulate people as things and I can classify them it protects me see I don’t have to deal with people I just deal with categories and I have them labelled and then I get into the self-fulfilling prophecy and it is a seedbed to all kind of other problems
• that’s why it requires this integrity of the first three habits
• it requires the development of common purpose, a common sense of meaning, a common sense of mission what is it we’re about
• the moment you can achieve that then run with differences in perceptions, in gifts, in talents
• the more you have difference the better the capability of inventing new approaches third alternatives is increased exponentially because of differences
• strength literally lies in differences
• these aren’t just nice words to value differences
• these are moral imperatives for those that really want to solve problems in entirely new ways go for synergy
• so the moment someone disagrees with you what do you say to them good you see it differently
• that’s why so value my wife’s input because I’ll say how do you see it and you’ll see it totally differently but honestly if you can learn to value differences
• and teach your children the moment there’s a difference run with it
• it’s an advantage, not a disadvantage
Tips:- Use Talking Stick while having one to one discussion either in personal or professional setting. This can be used in our daily conversation with our spouses, teenage daughters/sons, brothers/sisters or with our mom. This can be used in our team meeting as well.
Foundation of any relationship is deeper level of understanding. Let’s understand, then to be understood.
Let’s have this week’s contest extended till Sunday Night(24th Nov):-
Take one personal or professional relationship.
Follow 5 levels of listening – Empathetic listening
Other person has to give the certificate or you can give self-certificate
Top 3 winners will get books –
1. First Prize : Lights from many lamps,
2. 2nd Prize : Alchemist,
3. 3rd Prize : Monk who sold his Ferrari
Quote:
If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary – Stephen R. Covey
If you want to walk fast walk alone, if you want to walk far walk together.
Conclusion:-
The next time you have a disagreement or confrontation with someone, attempt to understand the concerns underlying that person’s position. Address those concerns in a creative and mutually beneficial way.
- Let us unlearn to value and celebrate differences.
- Let us not feel threatened by differences of opinion, perspective or background
வேற்றுமையில் ஒற்றுமை காண்போம்
Amitabh bachan says “Sweet எடு, கொண்டாடு. Whereas we can say as Hero and Heroines - வேற்றுமை எடு value பண்ணு Celebrate பண்ணு, கொண்டாடு
Reference:-
Theme for the week: Synergize – Habit 6 – Courtesy: Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people.
(Start Date 23rd Nov, End date 29th Nov – Saturday to Friday)
Today’s Videos:-
39 Habit 6: Synergize - Part A: The Process of Synergizing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZG6q4-mZ4Y&list=PLBcoHkB-HjG-9fXnrU6uwnw1ZoGzoVEcB&index=38
Week’s Video for quick reference.
the Landfill Harmonic Orchestra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJrSUHK9Luw
Wisdom of Geese (Motivational)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOg4WfNDfM
Quote for the week to ponder upon:
The enemy of the best is the good – Voltaire
Articles:-
HABIT 6: Synergize
https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-6.html
Books: 7 Habits of highly effective people – Stephen Covey
About me:-
EP-0 - Who am I? - Rajesh Narayanan
If you do not know me personally, you can check out this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiuvvMarwOE
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